A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:hello, need to ask a question, appreciate answers.I don't think people like me much,or are drawn to me, when I meet them, ie in a group, one to one, or in any social situation.Im a quieter person, yet 9/10 times I'm the one saying "hi" when I see people, or making small talk that may lead to conversation.I'm an average person, average looking, am not intellectually impaired and I don't have Aspergers or a disability (A psychologist tested me years ago.) I'm a little socailly anxious/quieter, in groups mainly. as many of us can be, I try but people prefer more loud, ougtoing, wittyand at times popular people to be around. which is fine, who wants to be around the quieter person?(I was told this was left over from years of being ignored at college and school bullying as a kid and teen. Yes I know it was ages ago, and I have dealt with it, but a tiny part of it still hurts, over the years have seen therapists which has helped and I am more confident. I am much less anxious than when I was younger. I was so hated at school even the teachers disliked me and kids that were not in my class or school bullied me. So I had reasons to be anxious becoming and adult and going off to college/working etc. I never had peers who liked me.I smile, try to be friendly, am not all ego or all about me or so quiet I cant talk, yes I'm quieter but I do try, as I said I am the one asking the questions and trying to be interested in the other person. I don't try too hard, I'm not fake or too nice, I don't interrogate them, I try to be casual and relaxed and approachable.Why are people so self absorbed they dont want to meet new people? we are so ego centric these days, only the outgoing seem to make friends. Yes ive tried hobby groups etc, doesn't work, ppl are too cliquey and the same thing happens. I do have friends! and I see them, Im not a total hermit.what I am I doing wrong? maybe I should become rude and just say hi and not be interested as a person. Its like I have a sign above my head lights up that says "say hello to her but never be her friend" there is something abut me that makes people move on to be freinds with someone else, say hi speak to me for 25 minutes and then go and speak to the more outgoing or interesting people, Im forgotten. thoughts?please try not to be nasty.thanks
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (31 December 2013): this is the posterI meant to write 'SAY HELLO TO ME FOR 5 MINUTES" NOT 26 MINUTES. typing error sorry!
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (31 December 2013): You sound so much like myself. I am a 16 year old girl. I know exactly what youre talking about. I'm a very loud and might I say witty person, but when I'm in class I'm completely different; I find being around more outgoing people helps me to be more of myself. I think the best thing to do is find something that you truly love (if you haven't already) hobby wise. Don't just go for an activity that seems popular, find one you like doing. Then you can meet people who have similar interests. I think its great that you believe in manners! :)
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