A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:Hello all, its 3am and i cant sleep. I need really an advice. So here is the story. I am singer, more than 1/2 years of my life, this is already my proffesion and music is my life.Im now in my 50s and still active in music. Since 2020- 2021, entertainment is down during the pandemic and with running situations, i thought these pandemic will go on and take longer.2020 i got heart attacked, stent in and so thankful to god that i survived. My doctor told me i should avoid number 1 the stress. Early this year, i feel worthless by not doing anything, i feel i am not use anymore in this life. During the time i was working i use to share blessings and really happy to share and help as only much as i can, and this stop since pandemic come. I slowly feeling depress did all my best to distruct my self.Then middle of January come one of my friend and ask me if i want to work ( not music thing ) and i really need to do something to get out from this feeling sadness.So i said, yes i want to work. So i send my resume and thanks god i was hired for trials and will start this May. Thing is' my band member called me a week ago and told me, we are starting again our gig also this May. Now im having stress thinking how i will do it.My place where i am living is 10 minutes walk to my new job and i like this job so much. But the place im doing a gig with my band is 259kl drive away. ( i have my own apartment on that place too ) Our music gig is just 2 - 3 days a week most of the time weekend. The problem is, my job here is starting at 6am and will be finish at 1pm.. Our gig start most of the time at 5pm to 12 midnight. Meaning i have a chance to drive after my work to my gig. My problem is, the stress of driving from work to my gig, without a traffic it will cost me 3 hours roughly. But if we finish the gig at 12midnight and i need to drive back 3 hours it will be 3am then i need to work at 6am in the other job.I have a feeling it will cost me a lots of stress and tireness. Please help me to decide. Shall i give up my music now? Both jobs brings good income, money is important but thats not the main reason i am doing this 2 jobs since i have other source of income too plus i have my partner who is supporting me too for my everyday needs.Music is my life please note i am not just singing, i am doing it proffesionaly and singing is my stress reliever. But you all know guys, when you sing you don't only use your mouth and voice, you need to move with the beat too. So it gives a tireness too. But this new job is kind of job for a person like me who doesn't need much stress like other jobs do. Its light and its a fine job.Me as i had a heart attacked experienced and doesn't need any too much stress need to make a decisions and i need help. Shall i give up now my singing career?I can not do that to my new job since i just signed a contract and i really do wanna hold on to this new job.I hope someone from you guys can relate to what im talking about and can give me a advice. Any will be appreciated.Thank you all
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (25 April 2022): hi, i am the one who wrote this 'asking the advice" i thank you all for the effort for all the answer here and give best advice. I think you all right. Yes, having a gig for a ordinary singer is not that stable income at all. Its really nice to have it because its not only a plus to financial, but also it brings really happiness in inner soul especially when music is really in your heart. But yes, i can't afford anymore stress. I talked to my member and told them, i will join the gig if i can and will not bring me into terrible stress. But if the schedule will bring into a complict time, then i have to ask them to get another singer... As a musicians all my life, its not easy to just give up the stage, you will miss it really. But i need to learn to calm down and slowly accept the situations and plus im not getting any younger anymore, i need to adjust my self too, from being use to the lights, stage and audience to a normal life..Thank you so much to all of you. You guys really a help...
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (25 April 2022): Put a video up on YouTube. If your crap you will know in a few days. If you get a lot of views your good. Sorted. If your interested in getting promoted online and social media just say. Good luck.
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A
female
reader, QueenCupcake  +, writes (24 April 2022):
 I also work with the entertainment industry, I’m a singer, songwriter and actress. Not in the big names, but it has enough. However, like you, and every other musician who is not quite yet in the big names, it is not a stable income. I would suggest that you stick to your new job, as it’s much more stable than her music career. And trust me, there will be many other opportunities to perform and to gig that are nearer to you and your job. Put right now, I think it’s best to focus on a stable income, you don’t have to give up the music, but just have that more as a hobby, go and gig on the weekends or in the evenings after work somewhere nearby.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (21 April 2022): You must consider your health above all. The late nights and long drives alone may not be safe or healthy for you as far as the gig is concerned. You don't explain if the gig is one particular performance at the same venue, or if you're doing several different performances at different places?
After having a heart attack, you should consult your physician about so much late-night travel and activity; when you know you should be getting sufficient rest. Your health is the priority, and should be the deciding-factor.
What kind of music do you perform? You must consider that your band performs pretty late into the night; and then you'll have a long drive afterward. Hopefully streets are well lit; and you don't get too drowsy or exhausted during your drive home. After heart surgery, I would assume you must be on prescribed medications as well. Do any of your medications cause drowsiness or light-headedness? Maybe you shouldn't be driving after a long night of performing.
You have to have a talk with the band, and perhaps try to arrange for gigs that aren't so far; unless your group can afford to lease a tour bus. A tour bus has enough space in it for a private sleep area, and even a small lavatory. It can accommodate all your band members, and equipment. If you're going to travel, that's what you need in consideration of your health.
There are also extra-long fitted-vehicles, which aren't as large as a tour bus; but it allows for more passengers, so you can all travel together with your equipment. Minimizing your need to drive hours after a gig. You can all ride together, and drop each-other off.
Otherwise, it may be time to retire from show business. I think your doctor's advice should supersede anything that we can advise you here. At best, you'll have to do most of your performances locally; so you won't have to deal with the stress of excessive road-travel, or traveling by yourself with no-one to keep an eye on you.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (21 April 2022): It's tough but I think you have to give up the singing for now and stick with the new job.
Your health is very important.
It will totally determine your quality of life in years to come.
If you have too much stress you could get a stroke and become paralysed and recovery, although possible, is slow and difficult.
You could get out of the music circuits for now but still record in your free time so that you have a memoir of your singing and to keep your voice active while you strengthen your body.
Your bandmates will find a substitute for you so that you can change the pace of your life.
Of course it's your decision..but when the doctors say 'rest' then that is exactly what they want you to do.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (21 April 2022): I think it would be unwise of you to resume your old gig , although I understand perfectly why you 'd want to do it. But our health should come before anything else and regardless of any other considerations.Not just for your own sake but for the sake of your partner, family and friends. Your gig really sounds not compatible with the lifestyle of a person who is already working full time-let alone a person who had a serious heart problem and has got her doctor's orders to avoid stress and exhaustion.
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