A
female
age
30-35,
*_Mae93
writes:my ex and i have been broke up for a month and 2 days after being together 17 months. we do have a 9 month old daughter. if you read my last post it talks about everything. but ill try and make this short as possible. i stopped texting him completely then he started texting me then last monday he texted and asked if he could stay with me cause he had no electricity at his house. he stayed with me monday Tuesday Wensday friday and saturday. he said he has been talking to this girl i have asked him several times why he wont date her.1st reason he said it wasn't the right time.2nd reason he said he didn't want a girlfriend3rd reson he said cause of her guy best friend or something.4th he said it would feel weird5th cause she is bisexualhe said that he liked her but she was a freakhe also said that he didn't know when he would date her it could be months before he dates her.all the nights he stayed with me he cuddled with me, he kissed me on the forehead, he held me tight, he tried kissing me but i wouldnt kiss him. we done sex so it pretty much felt like we was dating again.one day i asked if he was over me he said no im not i know im suppose to but i just cant.then friday he told me i was beautiful and stuff. then saturday he came to my house drunk after i told him over and over again not to! he told me that he loved me so much and that he was sorry for everything. he said that we was getting closer and that we was starting from the begining of how we was when we first met. he said alot of things to me that made me feel really special. he also cuddled with me and held me tightly and closely.the weird thing is a few days ago i had told my mom that i wanted to hear him say he loves me then saturday he said it. when i heard him say it i got the best feeling ever! it was mixed between a warm fuzzy feeling and a happy feelingthen when we woke up i told him thanks for telling me how you feel about me and he just smiled and said omg. he said he didn't remember anything that happened.then when he left i texted him and told him everything that he said he said that he didn't remember anything and that it wasn't him that said all of it.i said so everything you said wasnt true right. he said i dont think it was. now we are back to were we was when we first broke up. not talking nothing.he said that he really likes this other girl cause she makes him feel like someone. i asked him how he felt when he was with me cuddling and stuff and he said ill be honest that was the first time i have felt happy cause the rest of the time we couldnt get along as in a relationship.. what he means by that is every since i had our daughter my attitude changed towards him i was always giving him hell for no apparent reason.he said saturday that he seen that i changed in a good way. so i said why cant we try to be together again he said no cause we will never be happy again even if we try. he said that he gave up on trying to make us work. he said that he didn't want to hurt and deny the other girl. but while he was staying with he acted like he didn't even care about the other girl. now were not even talking... is there any hope?
View related questions:
best friend, broke up, drunk, kissing, text Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (19 April 2012): No I don't think so. He misses the emotional attachment with you but he's intelligent enough to know that in a real relationship its not just cuddling with no strings attached like this time rather in a real relationship with you there's also a lot of hell to pay. And that ruins everything and he knows it. He knows its not realistic to get back together cos you will inevitably start up your crap with him again. His rational side is telling him to move on from you and look for someone else who will be as nice to cuddle with as you but who will also treat him better in daily life. The drunk side of him doesn't see the whole picture but the sober rational side of him does.
A
female
reader, Deagan +, writes (19 April 2012):
 I do not know of your previous posts on here but...
Do not wait for him. Give up and just remove the possibility of hope. You need to move forward while he figures out what the hell he wants in life.
I would say he has mixed feelings. On one hand, he might still have residual feelings for you, but at the same time, it clearly seems like he wants to move on if he really wants to pursue a relationship with this other girl. He even told you why it wouldn't work out- because you changed after you had your daughter and gave him "hell for no reason." In a relationship, the problems are never one-sided and a partner never deserves 100% of the blame. I can only assume you two had your share of problems, but it takes two to tango. Can you admit that you could have done things differently to maintain the relationship?
I'd also like to add that you're allowing yourself to be played. Here he is saying he likes this girl, but for whatever the reason you allow him to spend the night and get intimate with one another. It's like you wanted to show him what he's missing. The fact that you two are not talking after that should be a clue that this isn't going to work out. He even said that it wouldn't work out between the two of you. Maybe it's time to close that door and open a new one.
...............................
|
