A
female
age
26-29,
*eefa
writes:i live with my family and i m only 16,my parents want me to get married wen i will be 18 but i do not want to get married!i have no choice,no where to go! if i leave the house i will have no hope to lead my life but if i get married to a boy i can not help but spoil my life because i am lesbian and i want girl not boys to be my life partner! what will i do now?
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female
reader, Rocky angel  +, writes (18 May 2012):
Maybe thats the reason why they want you to get married that early. Its because they want you to be a woman not a lesbian! And maybe they want you to have a child. And they want to be a grand parents from you. What about talking to them, explain to them what you want and and what you are. Tell them that is not what you like and you wanna take diffirent path of your life. Try it. Talk to them...
A
female
reader, deirdre  +, writes (9 May 2012):
you could ask your parents to allow you to continue your education a bit longer. if they cannot afford this, then ask them if there is a way you can work before you marry, you can say it will help you to be a better wife, as an excuse. I know the culture in Bangladesh is to marry young, my friend is married to a Bangladeshi man and his sisters got married at 17 and 18. I wish I could help you more... only dont tell your family that you are a lesbian, they wouldnt be happy. good luck, and I wish you the best.
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A
female
reader, reefa +, writes (25 April 2012):
reefa is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI m in a pathetic condition
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A
male
reader, RAINORFIRE  +, writes (25 April 2012):
 maybe you could give a guy a chance it might not be so bad,if you have to marry a guy maybe you could explain the situation to him he might be understanding. sometimes we have to do things you dont like but its in our best intrest. i think you should play along with your parents for now.and they probably allready know your a lesbian.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (19 April 2012): Oh and just to add OP, personally I think you should wait until you're an independent adult living away from home before you reveal your sexuality to them.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (19 April 2012): Reefa you should just try to work towards going to college and gaining a career with good money.
If your parents see that you have a plan in life and one in which marriage so young will only hold you back they may let you postpone.
Tell your parents you want to get a career before you marry or at least get a degree. If you can try and find a part time job now to save money you'll be in a better position to negotiate with them. Even in your culture they can't force you to marry OP, your consent is required for a marriage to be legitimate.
OP if a dowry is still being practised by your parents then tell them you want to save up that dowry yourself, that you don't want them to have to pay and you want to be able to have husband, a career and your own money to bring into your family.
OP just set up a life plan, have marriage in there too but make your plan sound better and start earning money and getting things started now. Study hard and get good grades and figure out a college course you want to, start working part time and saving up. So even if they still don't agree you will have enough money to be able to start up on your own.
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A
female
reader, reefa +, writes (19 April 2012):
reefa is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthank u .
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (19 April 2012): Hello i am sorry to hear of your problem, it must be very difficult to know that your feelings are not accepted in your familys culture.
Your feelings may change in 2 years but maybe if you ask your parents, perhaps they will alow you to wait until 19? It will be an extra year so that you can make a decision.
I know it must be very frightening but there are people in your country that can help and advise you better than i can. There are help groups for people who are being forced in marriage look at www.soas.ac.uk and u might be able to find more information.
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A
female
reader, reefa +, writes (18 April 2012):
reefa is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthank u for your advice but i do not think it will work according to the culture of our country,but thank u again
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