A
female
age
41-50,
*he ex wife
writes:I got divorced in April but my ex-husband still wants to be with me and I'm not sure because our marriage wasn't always sunshine and roses. I can't even make love to him anymore. What should I do? Should I try to be with him with so much negativity about him? I'm always so mad at him. I hate him when he's here and I miss him when he's gone. Why is that? I'm confused. Can anybody help?
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, dr.know +, writes (23 July 2008):
 Honey I know how it can be..a love/hate thing. You have to first deal with your feelings about him and find a way to forgive before you make any decisions. You are confused because you have not given yourself enough time to really get passed your hurt feelings, there still is love there but it is clouded by your pain from the past, the only way you two will be able to reconcile is if you first forgive him, then yourself. Once you clear away the debris of your past you will then have the clarity to see exactly what to do. Remember forgiving is all about you...you reap the benefits when you forgive, even if you decide not to be with him, you will still have to forgive or you will bring that same baggage to your new relationship. So I suggest the first step you take is to forgive....Be well...
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