A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Me and my GF are having a baby, I've got all money saved up so everything is fine to that perspective, I've look after my mates baby for a week and have a good idea of what's needed, I need to tell my dad but want to tell him nearer time as I'm not sure on his reaction, because when the baby is born we are getting a apartment. I'm in full time work and money is not a problem just the fact of telling my dad most probably will be..What should I do?
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (23 July 2008): well when i was ur age my girlfriend became pregnant. i was working full time, she was working aswell, we got our place and had our beautiful baby girl, It put alot of pressure on us being 17 and having a baby, after our 2 year relationship was all fun and about us, suddenly we had this baby to care for. people had plenty to say, but we proved them wrong. 10 years later we are married and we now have 2 kids, 10 and 5. Good luck to you, you seem mature and prepared.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (23 July 2008): Hello Mr Anonymous,
You remind me of a similar post I answered earlier. However in that case the guy didn't have any money saved up, he had no childcare experience, but was still trying to get his girlfriend pregnant.
Luckily you are in a very different situation. You already have funds saved up, you have calculated how much money you need to furnish an appartment, provide for you and your girlfriend get stuff for the baby. You have prepared very well. But there are still some things you have to remember.
If your girlfriend is the same age as you, you will still both be in the late stages of puberty. That means you both still have growing to do, and your homones will be difficult to cope with, as well as a new baby. The baby will poor additional hormones into your girlfriend and she may change her personality for a while. Some women go off sex, some like it a lot, some women get weepy, some want to be alone. Be prepared, and support her through this and try to be very understanding. Being a new mum at her young age will be a challenge.
You need to tell your dad. You can never have enough money when you get a baby, and you need all the help you can find. Your girlfriend will get tired, and you will be at work. She will need the support of both of your families if she needs to take a break. Buy a book on pregnancy and get another one on childcare, this will be your bible and really help you out. It will tell you if the baby is developing normaly, and what to do if you see any problems. Some babies are sickly, others are fine, some babies talk and walk quickly, others don't. You need to get as much information as possible to help your baby to develop and thrive.
Your overage, your working, you have money saved up and somewhere to live. Your father won't object too much, but he will still be concerned about your age, because as I said puberty is still going on. You both are not fully grown and off course he will worry. The problem is that young relationship, especially when their is a child, usually break up within the first five years. The risk of you two failing is very, very high. Your father will know this, he'll be worried that she will become a single parent, and you both will get hurt.
No problem, you have given yourself the best chance, and the baby is already here. Just tell him what you told us, throw in talk about love, get yourself some knowledge about preganancy and childcare and everything should be fine. Take care of you, be good.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (23 July 2008): My daughter is pregnant now, she is 17, she is very irresponsible and careless, she means well but she just very immature, her boyfriend is 24 years old, he seems responsible. I say this to you, you seem very responsible and very mature, it is really not about the age it is about being ready..I believe that your Dad will first be in shock like most parents that find out that their baby is having a baby, but you are your coming into your own so he will have to live with the decision and choices you are making with your life. You are going to grow up real fast after having a baby, so you might as well start now, tell your Dad because he may offer some needed support, you can never have too much support when bringing a new baby in this world. He might not be as warm as you like or he may be you'll never know but telling now will at least get the worse part over and you can move on to getting ready to becoming a Dad yourself, just look at it from another angle would you want to know if your kid was having your grandchild?
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A
female
reader, aphexinfinite +, writes (23 July 2008):
 your dad may not be happy due to your age that you still have the better part of 20years to have children..having a home of your own and being married would proberly help with the reaction of your father.glad you have money saved up..can i ask how long have you and your girl friend been together ? and is she your first love? i would have a serious think about having a child young and understand that if you have a kid now say your 16 when your 36 your child will be 20 :O... i know thats not what you want to hear and im glad you are being responsible but how about you get a home first as having a home can be taxing with bills furniture and what not..hope that helps aphex x
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A
female
reader, Paula4u +, writes (23 July 2008):
 Unless you are under age, why should there be a problem? He may question the order of events i.e. baby born out of wedlock is not the best of starts for any child nor the couple.
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