A
male
age
30-35,
*atinomusicus
writes:oK I don't even know where to start. I just moved to a different city like a month ago. And I met a great guy on a dating site when I moved. He seems like a great guy. I'm Mexican, but I'm really attracted to white guys, specially if they speak Spanish as well. My dad barely knows English, and my mom doesn't even know a word in English. So for me it would be perfect to find a White guy who speaks Spanish so he can communicate with my parents without me having to translate. I have hung out with him for two times, and I really enjoy spending time with him, and it looks like he feels the same when he's with me. He wants to get married and have kids, which is something I want as well. Everything seems perfect, but this is the problem. See I'm "illegally" here in this country. And I'm in the process of becoming legal, but it will take sometime for me to become a US citizen. SO right now my plans are to stay here til that happens, meanwhile go to college here and open my own coffee shop. He knows about my current status and he seem not to mind it. He, in the other hand, wants to move to Mexico sometime soon, but has to stay here til he pays his loans or at least til he goes to school to get a Masters degree. And wants to get a job as a translator over there, he loves the Mexican culture, and he wants to live there because in Mexico same sex marriage is allowed, plus right now it seem like gay couples would be able to adopt kids soon. So our life goals are different for our futures. Well, Once I become a US citizen I want to buy a house here in the States and one in Mexico as well. I want to open some businesses here and over there in Mexico too. I want to be traveling back and forth. I want to be able to visit my family in Mexico whenever I want so thats why i want to buy a house over there as well. Anyway, this guy and I have seen each other as friends for two times. And I'm starting to feel something special for him. Like I said I enjoy being around him. today he picked me up to go see a movie, and I loved how he was singing in the car. I usually dont sing around others, unless I know them very well. I loved how he seemed at ease and comfortable around me that he didnt care if I liked his singing or not :p but I actually think he has a very good voice. See, he's the type of why Id like to marry, but I dont if I should even give this a try and just go with the flow. I just recently read a book where I basically learned that some times some unexpected things happen, like you might fall in love with someone who isnt your type and that you might actually live somewhere you dont expect to live at just so you can be with your bf. I have worked so hard to become legal, and now that the doors have opened I dont want to screw this up and miss the opportunity, but I also dont want to keep asking myself "what if" I had given this a trySO I kinda want to give it a try and see where life take us. But idk what to do. As you might know is hard to find guys with morals, and who actually want commitment, so I dont want to miss the opportunity of meeting the love of my life. See things would be easier if same sex marriage was allowed here in the states, because that way I could go to mexico with him and marry him. And if things dont seem to go ok in mexico then he can sponsor me so I can become a US citizen and we can move here. I want to contribute to this nation, open some business, and start some organizations, but with DOMA and all those anti-gay laws, achieving my goals seem far from being possible to accomplish. So should I close myself and not give this a try. Or should I give it a try and just go with the flow? Reply to this Question
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reader, latinomusicus +, writes (21 September 2012):
latinomusicus is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks for your answers. Just to clarify something, I;m not thinking in having kids and marrying him at the moment. When I mentioned the kids, I mentioned them because Id like to find a guy who wants to marry and have kids. So he happens to want that too. For me a dealbraker would be if the guy I'm dating doesnt want to get married or have kids.
A
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reader, anonymous, writes (20 September 2012): If I understand this correctly, you have seen this guy only twice? you said you moved to a different city just a month ago? well, I think you are going way to fast. I mean, you are talking about marriage and kids with a guy who is not even your boyfriend! I'd suggest you take it easy and go with the flow right now and do not build castles in the wind! Take time to get to know this guy and if the relationship goes well lets say in a year or so then you can chat with him and see if you can find "a happy middle" for your situation.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (20 September 2012): Well first of all, don't let the haters in the country get you down, because the US is experiencing serious societal shifts toward pro-gay rights. And not trying to cater to stereotypes, but don't super machismo guys in Mexico commit severe assault/hate crimes on gay guys?
I would give it a shot. Seems like you have a good plan (thanks for trying to legally get into the country the honest way my ancestors did) and since MX and the US are so close, a LDR could work in the long run, granted that you two work out.
Go with your gut! I'd say go for it :)
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