A
female
age
30-35,
*bdd
writes:He said we could still be friends, and i want to. We still love each other but broke up 2 days ago. NOt necessarily because my my insecurity and trust problems.. assumptions, but it made us unhappy. I still want this and I think he does too, he just wanted me to better myself. Because he couldn't take it anymore. I love him soo much, he's my bestfriend. And I just want everything back to normal, but I know I can't rush that. But at least be able to talk everyday. I know it seems a little fast to jump into stuff, but I was aware of the problem and learning from it. Im afraid I may have said some wrong things when we did break up. But i don't know if this is the right decision. Should I give up hope and just do me? Or let everything ride, and do what my heart is telling me, and check in on him every now and then until we are fine. I know with no doubt he still loves me but i made him want to be alone. Im not intending to rush back in the relationship. I'm using this time as a way to better myself. I just miss him being here. I know it's normal but I believe it can all work out. Just don't know if this is the best approach. Should I let him send me a message when he's ready. Cause i did today, and he was fine with it. I didn't say too much or too little, but enough. What do you guys think?
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female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (28 October 2010):
 Well if you would prefer to write him a letter then do that, tell him you are seeking therapy as you want to overcome your issues and also yes tell him you hope that you can both be very happy once you have solved your problems and hope that he will wait for you while you get help but that you dont expect him to.
A
female
reader, kbdd +, writes (28 October 2010):
kbdd is verified as being by the original poster of the question and i have told him everything besides i hope he waits and thats what i really want to say. Should that be something he knows if i do get counseling. And im thinking right now of a letter...to tell him. So i dont put to much pressure on the situation.
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A
female
reader, aunt honesty +, writes (28 October 2010):
Ask yourself what makes you insecure and have trust issues? Could it be something in your past? Have you ever been cheated on? If you know the problem as to why you have these issues then work from that, if you dont maybe you could go to a therapist and tell them your problem they will be able to help that is what they are there for.
Its good that you can still be friends and it is obvious he still likes you so its time to tell him you still love him and tell him you are working on your problems and hope that he waits for you.
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A
female
reader, kbdd +, writes (28 October 2010):
kbdd is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthat sounds like a good approach, but when i do clear my head how do i let him know rather than that. I want him back. i mean I love him to death but i just want to let him know. Im ready and if he wants it then it can happen, but how will I know. BTW we just talked everything went fine, he called. :) but i don't want to get to happy about it. I know he misses me, and the conversation didn't focus to much on the relationship however it was brought up. but mainly a freindly conversation. it was fun, not to long. and meant to make him miss what he had. in a way so when this change is made hell still be there.
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A
female
reader, UnfinishedSymphony  +, writes (28 October 2010):
 its bizarre.
i have just recently posted a question almost exact to this.
however, i am your boyfriend and you are my boyfriend in mine.
we've been on a one week break already. and wow, its most definitely helped both of us think more clearly on what we want and what it is that we could do in order to more forward.
if your great for each other, you will stay together.
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A
female
reader, aunt honesty +, writes (27 October 2010):
Ok you admit that you have insecurity and trust issues therefore you need to deal with these on your own before you get back in to a relationship and you need to deal with them away from him. They are obviously the stem of why you both broke up and you need to work on them, if you keep putting yourself down and dont believe in yourself then neither will he so take some time out dont contact him and make yourself feel better about being you. Also you need to be able to trust him 100% or else there is not point to the relationship. So my advice would be to not talk to him until you feel that you are happy and that you feel your problems are solved then contact him and tell him you have sorted your head and want to take things slow and try again.
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