A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Me and my now ex loved each other a lot and all our friends and family said we were the perfect couple for each other. We both were talking about her moving here, us living together, her getting a job as a PD officer while I finish school. We wanted kids and she planned for her trip to come visit in Dec, we'd go pick out my engagement ring. She always told me I was the perfect gf for her and would be the prefect wife. And I loved that idea. We've been together for a year and 10 months and sadly are long distance right now.But when we visited, I took care of her. I played the wife role. Cooked for us, cleaned up for us, i took care of her if she got sick, made sure she had clean clothes all the time, we had a healthy sex life as well.Well in late Sept, she was finally hired as a PD officer for a small city outside hers. So that makes it job number 3. I supported her with her choice and all. She works very hard and sometimes many long hours..which in fact tip into our time together making us talk less and less.Well, in Oct, she broke us up. Her reason was becasue she felt distant and "wasn't in love anymore". About two days later, my now ex texted my sister and they talked. My sister told me that My ex had said she broke us up because "distance and life getting in the way, i gradually drifted from being close. My responsibilities took over and I'm 41, I'm afraid i might not get a job down there."So as of today, we talk but not much because she is busy or ends up falling asleep right after work. I know she isn't looking for another woman or even wanting to find another. She wanted to be friends, so i accepted and we are still friends. She is the one that bought my cell phone and when i offered to start paying my half of the bill she kept refusing to let me.So...I'm confused. We talk but not much, she won't let me pay for anything we have together to help her. My family and friends think she still is in love with me, but that right now needs to deal with her life in Michigan. And that they are sure she will come back to me. I am positive and try very hard to keep faith. But i'm confused. I know I should be mad or not had wanted to be her friend. I know I should feel like i should move on but I can't. I can't be mad at her, and am trying very hard to be friends. I can't and don't want to move on yet. Yet I'm hurting everyday and sometimes I think and all i can do is cry.I don't know what to do or say.... Are my friends and family right? should I give her time and accept her with open arms when she comes back, if she does? Should i keep being a friend and support her, talk to her? They say absence makes the heart grow fonder..so should i give her complete space and let her text or call me when she (if she) misses me?I would like advice to help calm my heart and head please.
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long distance, move on, my ex, sex life, text Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (15 November 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionsame sex, not gender. Gender is more of masculine or feminine. But yes, we are both females.
A
female
reader, Aunty BimBim  +, writes (15 November 2009):
 So this is a same gender relationship? Not that it makes any difference but from your letter I would say your ex has spoken the truth, distance and a growing apart have happened until she finds herself at a point where she isnt in love anymore.You need to accept this and move on
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