A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:All the men i have dated lately have only wanted fun, even though they say they love me or really love me. even after a few months they say they want to hold back or just to keep having fun and see what happens. I always take it easy at first, but sureley after 3 months someone should know if they really like someone and want to make an effort? i'm confused. If i give it longer than 3 months i start to get attatched and get hurt. Should i give guys longer to make thier minds up or is 3 months enough? i'm confused. Did any of them love me or where they just hedging thier bets? Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, leanne.od +, writes (23 September 2007):
 it is possible to love someone after 3 months but you don't usually tell that someone "lets just keep having fun"
my guess is it was a way to make you feel comfortable and content and them to have the fun they craved.
men are scared of relationship and commitment to one girl but you would have hoped by 30 onwards they would have matured and grown up and realsied that a relationship can be just a fulfilling as playing the field.
don't be out off, you'll find that someone who says he loves you and means is wholeheartedly.
god luck
A
reader, anonymous, writes (23 September 2007): This is a difficult question. I don't think there is a right answer to this one. You have to use your own judgment and ask yourself whether or not this or that man is whay YOU want....you have the power in the relationship, you get to choose who you are going to let love you....and these guys know that, they are possibly playing safe, or keeping their options open.
When we are adults, it is not wrong to date non exclusively, you need to give a relationship the time to grow and develop and attachment to happen for the other person. No two people are alike, no two men are alike, and they may be on a different time table than you are where your feelings are concerned. I would also, not have sex with any of them until they are attached to you, or that may make you more attached than they are too soon and that is why you end up getting hurt. A quality guy will wait for sex, he will be happy just to be in your company.
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