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age
30-35,
anonymous
writes: dear cupid,i've been dating this guy on and off since april. here pretty recently, we've kind of been having some struggles--he decided that he doesn't feel as happy in our relationship as he used to. i've talked to my mom and his mom about it, and they both think he's just hurting over some things that he has been through in his past (his ex-baby-mama really put him through the wringer, and he didn't ever really deal with it as much as he probably should have, and she also miscarried their son). i've talked to him about it, too, of course, and he says that right now, he's just really stressed out (and i can definitely see why, what with work and worrying about the possibility of getting laid off and being in debt and some health issues). we both agree that we don't want to break up, and we both still love each other.his birthday is coming up the first of november, and i've been working on the first part of his present off and on since april. although i don't have anything done on it, i've actually already bought the stuff for the second part. my question is, do you think i should still plan on giving him the present even if everything is still kind of strained like this by the time his birthday rolls around? or should i just forget about it?
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male
reader, idoneitagain  +, writes (1 September 2011):
We celebrate people's birthdays because we want to express joy that they came into the world. He is your boyfriend, I am sure you are happy that he is alive and in the world. If you are, you should give him a gift, he will appreciate it, it doesn't have to have anything to do with how your relationship is going.
A
female
reader, tennisstar88  +, writes (1 September 2011):
 If you've already spent some $ on it and it's non-refundable, or you don't have the receipt to return it..then go ahead and give it to him.
Usually, I don't give guys who I'm in an off relationship with a gift. Just because it's not a normal, stable relationship..therefore I feel like I don't have to abide by the dating rules.
If you already put in the effort to give him this gift, then you might as well give it to him. No sense in wasting your effort and time.
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A
female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (31 August 2011):
 I don't know what sort of birthday gift you are planning on, but I think you should give a gift according to how secure you feel about the future of your relationship.
If you aren't feeling so sure, buy a card and an inexpensive, but thoughtful, gift. If your relationship is strong you get him something nicer/needs more effort/expensive.
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A
female
reader, cheers  +, writes (31 August 2011):
 If you want him to be your partner in near future, pls do it! pls observe his reactions.Is he looks happy to meet you? Does he solves his own problem already? is he ready to settle down?
From here, you know where you stand. Is it worth to wait? Pls make a wise decision
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A
male
reader, mistermann  +, writes (31 August 2011):
It sounds like the guy is going through a tough time and I'm sure you sympathise with that, but sometimes people forget it is never easy for the other person who has to live with the strained atmosphere.
The good thing is, you are both communicating, you both want to stay together and you both love each other. You never know, your present might cheer him up a little!
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