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Should I get over this guy? How do I do that!?

Tagged as: Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (2 December 2007) 2 Answers - (Newest, 26 December 2007)
A female Mexico age 41-50, anonymous writes:

Hello, I really don't know how to start, but some guidance would be appreciated... I'm just going to tell you my story.

I'm an independent girl, I'm 24 years old, have a great job and live alone. I've always told everyone how being single is the best and how I don't need men in my life to be happy. Little did I know that was going to change. I've never had a boyfriend and it is mostly because I never wanted to...

Five months ago, I got this amazing new job. In my department, I'm the only girl and turns out all of my coworkers are young guys. I meant one guy in particular that I thought was really cute, and that was all! But as I got to know him I started to see how much in common we had and how great we got along, so I started to develop a little crush on him, since I tend to be really rational and think everything throughly, I didn't let myself get too excited. I wanted to make sure he was single, of course, and that he liked me back!!

Three weeks after we first met, he invited me to his b-day party and I decided I had to go... even if I didn't know any of his friends. After the reunion at his house, we went to this really nice club and to my surprise, the guy (now I was completely sure he wasn't seeing anybody else) ignored all of his friends and spent the whole night dancing with me, hugging me, holding my hand and telling me how great I was and how it had been ages since he had such a great time! He also told me that from now on, he was going to invite me to that club since he enjoyed being with me so much. The night ended well, when I had to go home, he practically begged me not to go and I could see from the look on his face that he really wanted me there...

You can imagine how that made me feel, I felt like I was flying and I can safely say it was one of the best nights for me... ever! When I saw him at work 2 days later, he was always smiling at me and he still is, we have become "good friends", he's always flirting with me and trying to touch me, we talk a lot... but there's one thing... he never asked me out again!! Sometimes, we go to the movies or we go shopping, but that's it, he still goes to that same club every weekend, but he never asks me to go with him. People have told me to ask him out, but I don't have the balls to do that. Plus, I kinda tried once, asking him to go to a party someone else at the office was throwing and he said no... Or not exactly, he just told me that was not what he had in mind for that weekend, but didn't invite me anywhere else... So..... I took that as a hint and decided that he doesn't like me that much, at least not enough to go out with me again. The thing is, my once little crush grew to the point that I now can't stop thinking about him, I don't think I'm in love with him, it is more like and obsession and what sucks the most is that I have to see him every single day and I can't get over him!! I know that if I hasn't showed some interest in me, I wouldn't bee head over heels as I am now, but he did...

I really don't know what to do cause some times it seems like he likes me more than a friend and sometimes he's just so blissfully ignorant of me being there... I don't know what's going through his mind but sometimes I do think I have a slight chance with him, sometimes I feel it is a lost cause. What do you guys think I should do? I don't want to let him know that I have feelings for him, I really don't know how he will react. Seriously guys, how do I get over somebody I have to see every day!?

View related questions: at work, co-worker, crush, flirt, never had a boyfriend

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A female reader, valentinesday United States +, writes (26 December 2007):

Do what he does to you. It might just drive him as crazy for you as you are for him right now. I'm serious. My recent ex is like that too and now I act the same way towards him. Some days I would beso flirty, other days I won't even notice him. I know it drives him crazy. he admitted that he thinks I changed and he wondered why I wasn't like this when we dated. Too bad for him, he should have not let me go :P

Good luck. Oh, and plus, you have an advantage, you are the only female in the place. Use your womanly ways and flirt with other men there, It will drive him crazy because he can't do the same thing back to you. There are no other women there for him to flirt with.

Have fun :)

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (2 December 2007):

If you think he's worth it, ask him out. I mean make it perfectly clear you want it to be a DATE.

No parties with other friends. A full fledged date. Alone.

He may be scared to ask you and think you only know him as a friend.

But by what you have said, the chemistry and feelings are probably there... its just a matter of one of you biting the bullet and initiating it. And believe me, in this day and age, its perfectly acceptable for a woman to do the asking.

As to getting over someone, just be around them and do normal things. Eventually it will die down into what could be a great friendship.

But don't be too hurt if you or him and up with a broken heart. It happens.

Flynn 24

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