A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:So I dated this guy for two years and we broke up about a year and a half ago. I guess you can say I led him on recently but after a little while, I realized I didn't want him back. I've tried severing ties with him several times but he's resorted to harassing me: Calling me names (imagine any 'bad' name and he's called me it), calling my house at 1AM when everyone in my house is asleep, threatening my friends and most often my straight, single guy friends. He told me I've made him this way because I've lied to him so much.First off, he and I are NOT together. Second, I'm a recovering pathological liar (I've been going to therapy for a few months now). Third, I'm also manic-depressive so getting over things/letting things go is a real tough job for me. My ex used to be abusive (still kind of is) and possessive; he and I have very RARE moments of happiness together. Otherwise, we are literally constantly fighting. Basically, he likes to argue and I do not.Anyway, my question is this: Should I get his parents involved? He's 19 years old and just finished his freshman year of college, so he's home for the summer. That also means I "have" to deal with him over the summer. I've ignored him the last 24 hours and his very last text to me was exactly this: "What happened to u getting ur parents to like me again? If i dont hear from u before i get home, i have no choice but to come over." Come over as in, my house. Where he is clearly not welcome. Where he thinks he has no choice but to "come over".I have no idea what to do, I just want him to leave me alone! I know what I did was wrong (leading him on, lying) but I can't do this anymore! I want to be myself and not stressed out all the time! I'm fully confident in the fact that if he wasn't in my life, I would be ENJOYING life. Getting his parents involved MIGHT help; although, being his parents, they'll more than likely take his side on this matter. I think I need a restraining order and I've looked online on how to get one.I need guidance...
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female
reader, BunnyTee +, writes (15 June 2010):
 The fact that he's 19 means he's an allegedly of age, legally responsible for himself adult. Which means there's little, if anything, his parents can do to intervene.
If you are being harassed, you have every right to call the police and have them speak to him to help him understand that is not welcome. Coming on to your property uninvited, or staying when asked to leave it is trespassing, that's illegal as is stalking and harassment by communication. You should tell him he is no longer invited nor welcome and he leaves you alone or you'll take lawful steps to make sure he does. Good luck with your therapy, too!
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