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female
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*zzyStradlin
writes: I need some advice urgently im so confused!... ok where to start from im a 16 year old girl.. have been going out with a 16 yr old boy for the past 5 months.. been through a lot together...such as him taking an overdose, my abusive family,we both cheated, his home and school problems.. and the same with me. About 2 months ago he told me he loved me and I realised I felt the same.. though both our parents were not keen...I actually trusted him and felt i finally had some one i could open up to. Then 2 weeks ago i found out via his mum that he had told her he didnt love me... he admitted to this... i ended up in hopsital after an attempted suicide as i felt i had no one... he was in touch with my friend through this and was worried... we then had numourous rows and then at the weekend we got back together and it was great... he was so nice and we just felt happy together and nearly slept together but he had a problem getting it up and got embaressed... since then we havent spoken properly he has been moody and last night i dumped him and he just said ok... but i love him more than life itself and i want to be with him but i dont want to be hurt like that again.. shuld i get back with him or just deal with the pain? and please dont say i dont know what love is because im 16 because i know it is unusual but it is... any advice is welcome thanks
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female
reader, Bobbyjo  +, writes (10 May 2006):
 It seems that you both care for one another loads but all the negativity that is going on in your lives right now is pushing you both apart. When we suffer from personal problems such as family break-ups and school problems, we find it very hard to connect with people and open up, so when you finally found someone who was going through the same as you, you felt that you instantly bonded.
Sometimes this isnt the case. When someone has a load of personal probs, they seem to seek help and comfort from those around them who are strong and reliable. I am not saying that you were not those things, but when your boyfriend is down and worried about something he probably feels that he doesnt want to burden you with his probs wen you have a plateful of your own to deal with.
Instead of getting back together and fighting your probs as a couple, I think you should both spend a bit of time alone to work out your own personal worries and then get back together when you both feel you are ready to give each other happiness and love.
Explain to him that you love him but you both need time apart. I believe that you can feel love at any age but at the moment you are both too young to be in an unhappy relationship. Also, I think he may not be talking to you right now because he may feel a bit embarressed about the nite you tried to have sex - trust me this is a very embarressing moment for all men - so just explain to him that doesnt need to feel ashamed or embarressed. Its perfectly normal.
I wish you both all luck for the future xxx
A
male
reader, Ryder  +, writes (10 May 2006):
 Hey IzzyStradlin :)
Glad to see someone near my age has finally spoken :P
I think its pretty good that the two of you teamed up and fought against alot of things together and got along for that time.
But i am also sad to know he broke your heart by saying he loved you and his mum telling you he didn't... But don't you think that maybe his mum forced him toa dmit he didn't love you but he actually did?
Since you love him that much i can tell you from my exprience that forgetting him will be impossible its just not possible to get over someone you love more than yourself..
I would say before getting back with him and opening the chance of getting heart broken again that you have a talk with him find out what happened with the mum thing and when he said he loved you and took it back because thats pretty wierd.. Also tell him that you love him more than anything and that getting back is what you want but ask him if this will be serious and not just playing around keeping in mind he might want to get back together for revenge as guys do tend to get immature sometimes.
Im sure that situation with him not being to get it up definately got him VERY embarassed and will cause it to be weird at first so don't bring that up at all.
Just remember 2 things:
1. If you don't get back with him or at least try you will regret it for the rest of your life getting over someone important in your life and someone you deeply loved is very very difficult so keep that in mind.
2. If you do chose getting back you have to have a conversation with him where you lay everything out and solve all the things that happened the thing about his mum telling you he didn't love you why you dumped him that you were scared he breaks your heart again and so.
P.S Don't doubt yourself anyone knows what love is even my little 8 yr old brother you just don't know how to express it and know its consequences until you reach a certain age which is about 14 :P
Good luck i wish you the best please tell me how things work out !!
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