A
male
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:When my wife and I got together she just come out a brief relationship with a friend of mine,he was known as a bit of a player i was relatively inexperienced at sex where my wife was very experienced and very good at sex,when I asked my wife about the relationship she said she only slept with him to see what all the fuss was about and it was purely sex,for the first month she was sleeping with the two of us on different occasions,but I still think of the two of them together wondering what they done together,should I move on and leave the past behind?
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female
reader, when nothing goes right go left +, writes (25 February 2013):
 I can understand why you would struggle with this but at the same time she is with you and you shouldn't suspect her if she hasn't given you a reason for you to suspeect her. And as she as told you that it was just
sex. You should move on and put it behind you if you can because she obviously wants to be with you so you should focus more on that and if you keep having doubts about yourself then you should work at improving your self esteem.
Hope this helps.
A
male
reader, TrancedRhythmEar  +, writes (25 February 2013):
 Dude this would drive me nuts. All kinds of questions would come into my head. Its possible she hasnt been entirely honest. I'd question if things are still going on or be sneaky and find out. Sorry man. Good luck.
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused  +, writes (25 February 2013):
 she's your wife.
i think that if you married her knowing this information, then yes you should leave it it the past and move on.
if you just found out after you got married... well then I wonder why she felt the need to tell you now...
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A
male
reader, TrancedRhythmEar +, writes (25 February 2013):
Dude this would drive me nuts. All kinds of questions would come into my head. Its possible she hasnt been entirely honest. My thoughts tell me she saw u were inexperienced didnt like it so she went to see mr player for a good hard screw. Id question if things r still going on or be sneaky n find out. Sorry man. Good luck.
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A
female
reader, TasteofIndia +, writes (25 February 2013):
 Should you? Absolutely! Otherwise, it will eat you up for the rest of your marriage and you will waste valuable emotional energy harping over past events that can't be changed.
If it's any consolation, clearly you were better - or else she wouldn't have picked and married you! I wouldn't worry about this. I definitely wouldn't ask her a bunch of questions abut it either. Often, the less you know the better! :) Good luck!
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A
male
reader, eddie85 +, writes (25 February 2013):
 If you keep thinking about this, you will drive yourself nuts. I think if you want your marriage to work out you MUST forget about it. By now, this should be ancient history and you married the woman (hopefully knowing this). If this was going to be a deal breaker, you should've walked away before signing on the nuptial line.
What troubles me is that it would appear that you and your wife have different views on sex. She seems to take it more lightly, after all she had sex with your promiscuous friend because she wanted to see what the fuss was about where as you seemed to have held out for marriage or were more reserved in your conquests. Also from your post, she was sleeping with both of you at the same time, one for "fun" and one while she was looking at a potential long-term relationship.
Do you have any fears that your wife may cheat on you? Or do you think she still harbors fantasies about her previous lover? Are you turned on by the thought of her with other men? The thought pattern behind your concerns may be worth exploring as your subconscious could be on to something that is holding you back from completely trusting your wife or it is trying to signal you that you married a woman who may jump ship when she finds a better sex partner.
Eddie
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A
female
reader, janniepeg  +, writes (25 February 2013):
 I am experienced and good at sex too. If a guy committed asked me if I think he's the best in bed. I would not answer. That question totally smells like insecurity. He only has to be decent for me to stick around. If being the best is important to you then I think it is unrealistic to hold that ideal. Some people debate that sex is a talent that's in-born. It's like anyone can be trained to dance but only the top ones get celebrity status. Some people say that with communication you can bring out the best in each other. My belief is that confidence is what makes you beautiful. It's not necessarily the things you do. Porn star Rocco Siffredi is not a very exciting actor to watch but he is very artistic and you can tell he loves women. That makes him unique from the typical bang bang actions. Sex is not about positions, kinks, and cum shots. It has a lot to do with the person you are, especially for married couples. If you use your inexperience as if that's the only thing that defines you, you are doing yourself great injustice.
You should feel you are the best, experienced or inexperienced. If you are wondering what they did together as if you need to catch up on experience, that makes you a copy cat. You decide what you like to do with your wife and make it your ritual, your love life. Let no one else from the past, or your imaginations come in between you two.
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