A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hi,I'm really confused. Theres this guy who i have been getting to know the last few weeks. At first we got a long so well, ended up talking on the phone every night for 3-4 hours. He then asked me out but i felt i didnt no him enough at that time just to say yes, so i asked him if we could meet up face to face a little more before we got together he said he'll wait until im happy which was great. After a couple times of meeting up i felt i got to like him more and more, so i thought i would ask him out. I was too shy to ask him face to face so i text him asking would you wanna give me and you a go i got no reply. So that night i rang him and asked whats going on between us. And he said he needed a lot of time to think because of the age difference (i'm 19 and hes 17) which really didnt bother me, but he said he thinks i'll go out drinking and cheat on him which really hurt! but i didnt wanna rush things so i said i'd wait. Then a few days later he said i cant go out with you because of the age difference and i got hurt as i just thought he doesnt trust me at all. Because i got hurt he turned it into a huge arguement he started brining so many things into it and it was all lies. I'd never seen him like this before. He then said i never want to talk to you again and told me to delete his number. The strange thing was 2 days later he text me saying im so sorry for everything and would you wanna get together now.Obviously i was pretty confused about it all and i just couldnt say yes because of the arguement. So i told him i wanted to meet up more (to be honest he had a lot of making up to do). He then said im not asking you again, you can either say yes or no, i dont care which one you choose. I said if you wont give me anymore time i dont know what to say. I just dont know what to do now... I know after all of this i shouldnt like him at all now. . Should i just forget about him?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (29 July 2008): goodness me hun, things shouldn't be so difficult so early on!!
I'm sorry to say but I really feel that you should forget about him. You are worthy of far better treatment and no relationship can work without trust be it friendship or bf/gf.
Step back out there and find that guy who will treat you like you should be treated and who respects you.
A
female
reader, lexilou +, writes (28 July 2008):
 Forget about him. There isnt even an age gap here really, men arent as mature as girls at this age so your about on an even keel. I think he's just changed his mind about you and isnt man enough to be honest x
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A
male
reader, ChiRaven  +, writes (28 July 2008):
 Ultimatums are ugly things to deal with. My initial reaction to them is to say "goodbye" as a response, but that's probably a little bit too hasty in a lot of circumstances.
Frankly, I think it sounds like a lot of drama on both sides of this relationship so far. That does not bode well for the future. But to be honest I'd say that it's at least worth one more date to give it a chance to work out.
Don't expect him to grovel. Don't dwell on the past at all. Yes, you're hurt. But if you're going to get along with this guy, you're going to have to be big-hearted and be the one to give him one more chance to show that he really does care and wants to make it work. He can't do that if you throw his past mistakes up to him. So just try to make your time with him a good experience and see if it works out well enough that you think it might merit future meet ups. If not, then it's time to move on. He deserves ONE more chance. Not two or three, just one.
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