A
male
age
30-35,
*ainy day
writes:I am going to be EXTREMELY detailed in my report, so it is going to take a lot of reading, but i really need advice. I'm sorry if this report was too long.I am currently 18 and this is the only girl I have ever dated/been kissed by. I wasn't very attractive until I turned 16 and got contact lenses. Thats when girls finally started noticing me...It all started in the summer of 2006. I was still 16 at the time and I was going to a friends house to play some video games. It was there that I met the girl who really messed me up. She was 15 at the time and apparently was dating my friends friend (who is now my friend too). She goes and lives with my friend every summer apparently, but I was only friends with him for a short time so I didn't know that.I stayed over at my friends house for about 10 days during the summer, and the girls boyfriend wasn't around most of the time, so I got to know her well. I started to like her quite a bit, but up to this point I had never dated a girl or even gotten close to one. She even told me she was still a virgin at this time, and I found that surprising because of her good looks. When the summer was over, she moved back home which was a 3 hour drive from us. I talked to her on MSN about once every two weeks. In September she gave me her phone number and said I should call her sometime, yet I had no experience with girls and I almost never talk on the phone, so I just threw her number out. I then turned 17 at the start of October. Then on November 19th, she comes to my town with my friends sister and she was going to go to a party with my friends and I. While at the party, after a while she started kind of holding onto me, so I put my arm around her and we were like that for most of the night. At one point she asked me if I liked her, and I wasn't sure what kind of "like" she meant, but I said "of course I like you". Later that night she tells me we need to be alone sometime, I kind of chuckle not knowing exactly what she meant by that. So later that night all my friends and her and I go back to my house that I was renting off of my dad. I took her to my room to show her some of my guitar playing skills (which aren't good when I'm drunk by the way.) I shut the door because the guitar is loud and all my friends were in the next room. After about 15-20 minutes she says "so why haven't you called me yet?" and I say "well I don't really have reason to" (I really never have tried to get a girlfriend). She then says "well then I guess I'll have you give you a reason." And with that, she kisses me. This was the first time I had ever been kissed in my life. So then I basically set her down on my bed and made out with her for what I'm guessing was 20 minutes. I then hear my friend that I live with drive up, so I run outside to check. A few minutes later, all my friends decide to leave. The girl I was kissing gave me her number again and I said I would call her this time. She then kissed me on the cheek and they all left. Two days later, I call her from a gas station. We talked for about 20 minutes, then out of nowhere she asks "So what's going on between us now?" and not sure what she meant, i said "what do you mean?" and she asks "Well are we dating now or whats the deal?" Shocked by hearing that, I kind of studder for a few seconds and finally say "I dunno I guess if you wanted to". I then gave her my number and we said goodbye. The next day she calls me, which was a surprise. I had friends over at my house at the time so we only talked for about 20 minutes. From here on we talk on the phone EVERY night. The next day I call her and she tells me she's going to bus back to my town again, but i would need to take an hour drive to go pick her up, which I later did. I just brought her back to my house for a little bit and my cousin was there at the time. When we were leaving, he was watching us through the window, so she says to turn on the light of the car, so I do, and then she kisses me for the second time. I then drive her out to my friends farm which was where she was supposed to be. The next day I go out there and visit her for a few hours. I barely even talked to my friend at all. We only talked for a few hours and then we sat by the door waiting for my car to warm up for half an hour. The whole time I was holding her and we were having a good conversation. Finally she kissed me goodbye and I left. The next day she went back home again. By this point, we were talking on the phone every night for 3-6 hours at a time. I had once asked her how many boyfriends she's had, and she said I was her 7th. I also asked what happened to the rest she she said the first one broke up with her, the rest were druggy's, not much in the brains department, and one was abusive. She also told me that one of the guys she dated only for sex, so apparently she wasn't a virgin. On our third week of dating, I told her that I was going to tell my parents I was working all weekend, but I was really going to drive out there and see her. In that conversation, she asked me when we were going to have sex, because she needed to know when to go on birth control. I'm not just a horny guy and i'm really shy when it comes to that, so I just say "I dunno maybe when i come out there." She also asked me why I've never kissed her. I told her it was because I'm just really shy, but she doesn't see me as a shy guy. She lived in a city I had never been to, and I had never driven over an hour before, so it was a big adventure for me. The day before I head out there, she asks me to say goodnight because she was always the one who had to say it. I never had any reason to leave but she did. So I simply said "goodnight sweetie, I miss you". And with that she says "awww goodnight, I LOVE YOU." I didn't want to hesitate and think about it, so i just said "awww I love you too." So the next day I drive to her house. I hung out with her and my friends sister, who she was living with at the time. But the day I went to see her was the day she was forced to move back into her parents house, which was also where I would be staying. The three of us just watched TV. Later that night, my friends sister was going to leave. While she was leaving, I was looking at a bottle of whisky which my girlfriend told me I could drink if I wanted. Before she left, I heard my girlfriend whisper to my friend sister "I'm not wearing any underwear." I kept looking at the bottle and pretended not to hear it, because I knew they were looking at me. SO after she leaves, we continue watching TV and talking. She then said "I'll have sex with you right now if you promise you'll never die." (that was a famous line from Team America: world police movie). I hesitate for about 15 seconds, and then say alright. But after saying that I just kept on talking. At one point, she straddles me and we continue talking. She also put her forehead against my forehead, and I know she really wants me to kiss her. I also know if I did, she would take me to bed in a second. But I really am shy when it comes to that, so I don't. Then we hear the door open and she jumps off. Her parents then walk in and I meet them for the first time. Finally after they went to bed we just continued watching TV and then she hugged me goodnight. For the rest of the weekend, we just hung out with my friends sister, which really wasn't what I wanted to do. By the end of the weekend, we hadn't even kissed once, and I was going back home. Later that night I go on MSN to talk to her again, and out of nowhere she calls me a bastard. She then tells me that everyone is telling her that I was spreading rumors about her and I having sex all the time. I wasn't really, but a couple people around school did start saying that, yet later when I found out who it was, I had no idea where they heard it from. My girlfriend then tells me not to talk to her, and I got pissed off as well because she just called me a rumor spreading liar. I decide that I won't call her, and instead wait for her to call when she's ready. 3 days pass and she logs onto MSN. I ask her why she won't talk to me, its been 3 days and its killing me. She just says "oh poor baby a whole 3 days", and then leaves. Finally on the 9th day of no talking, she decided to talk to me on MSN. I ask her if we were still dating and she says yes. But that conversation never went so well, so at one point she finally says "I think it would be best if we started over, as friends." I ask her if there's any chance we'd get back together and she says she doesn't know. The next day would have been our one month anniversary. A month goes by and she only went on MSN once, yet I know she must have been on more and just had me on block so I couldn't talk to her. In January, her parents sent her off to boarding school for being a bad girl. I never really cried or got upset at all after being broken up with, until February rolled around, and I realized how much I really missed her. At this point I decided to do my homework in front of the computer and leave my MSN on, hoping she would talk to me sometime. I would sit there for up to 6 hours a day, still wishing she would talk. At one point, I started to get mad, and decided that I wouldn't talk to her unless she said HI first. Eventually March rolled around and she turned 16. At the end of March, I have a good conversation with her on MSN. Finally. But during the conversation, she tells me she was considering getting a tongue ring. I asked why and she says "so I can give better head". She was drunk when she was talking to me, but that was still true. Hearing her say that felt like getting my eyes poked out with lethal injection needles, while my heart was being chewed on. A couple weeks later, she tells me she is coming to our town again for a weekend and needed me to pick her up in town and drive her to my friends house. I was only a 10 minute drive from town and a 5 minute drive from my friends house, so I didn't mind. I then brought her to my friends house, but he wasn't home at the time. I went to the basement with her and we had a long 6 hour, much needed talk. This was probably the most serious conversation we ever had. She told me she hasn't dated since me, but she went to the big city with her roommate and she met a gangster there and they were "seeing each other" for a little bit. She claimed all they did was make out. I didn't mind hearing this so much. What she said later was that she didn't really like giving blowjobs. She then told me that no girl could possibly like it and once again, this was like poison to my ears. I didn't mind so much the thought of her having sex with another guy, but giving them a blowjob is what really really upsets me. She also tells me she's still considering getting an tongue ring, pleaded her not to. Then around mid May she asks me to call her again, only this time I would be calling her at boarding school. I decided I could. So I called her once a week for about 5 weeks, each time talking for about 3 hours. Then June 6th, I call her for the last time. When we first start talking, she tells me I was going to be mad at her. I ask why and she says "well... I got a tongue ring." That once again was like a wave of acid splashing into my face. I kind of let that slide and just continued to talk to her. After talking to her on the phone, I went on the computer. I saw on a profile website that apparently she was dating a guy in boarding school. I'm not sure when or for how long, but that hurt me so much that I decided I would never again call her just to talk, and until this day I still haven't. June 30th rolls around and she comes down for me and my friends graduation. She was my friends grad escort, basically by force though. She said if it were her choice she would have been mine. Later at the graduation party is where everybody gets drunk and do some dirty dancing and hook up with people and so on. She really messed me up at this party. I heard that she was making out with one of my friends for about 5 minutes (and he is in my opinion a really ugly guy). She then told him that later that night she would give him a blowjob for a Grad present. Also later that night, she asked if they were dating now, which was the same way she had asked me out. But my friend has never been kissed by a girl until that night and was really unexperienced, and actually said no. He also says he doesn't even like her, he was just drunk at the time. He came and told me about the blowjob thing. Later that night, I was dancing with her and I say "so how did that blowjob thing go with my friend?" It had never happened yet, but she gave a look that said she was obviously pissed at my friend for saying that. We continue dancing and at one point she starts nibbling on my neck, and I knew that was an indication that she wanted to kiss, but i was never going to, especially after she was making out with my friend. Later that night, I hear she was making out with her ex boyfriend (who she was dating when I first met her.)She tells me that she's apparently going to be down for the whole summer. She also had asked me why I was mad at her, but I refused to tell her, and still to this day haven't.So a couple weeks roll by in summer. I was at my friends house watching a movie with her and my friend. It starts to get late, so my friend leaves. By the way, she was going into massage therapy. I told her I had never gotten a back massage before so she said she'd give me one. After the back massage, I sit back up and she asks if she can set her head on my lap and I say ok. A few minutes later she says "your not cuddling very well" and grabs my hand and starts rubbing it. It kind of surprised me because I never knew we were cuddling at all. After a while I ask to lay down because I was uncomfortable. So we were both laying on the couch together and there wasn't a lot of room. She had her back turned to me as if she wanted me to spoon with her while we watched the movie, but I tried to avoid it because I was pissed at her, so just lied on my back with my arm under her head the whole time. When the movie finished, we are both really tired. She just shuts it off and we lay there together. I was so tired at this point I couldn't move and almost fell asleep right there. She then faced towards me, put her hand on my chest and swung her leg across my hips, and rested her face right beside my neck. I was pretty sure she was waiting for me to kiss her right then, and if I had she probably would have gone one step further and tried to have sex or something. But I didn't. I just lied there in my near sleep. After 15 minutes she says she better get to bed and says goodnight. A week later I was going to a big Jamboree and was going to be gone for a week. She tells me before I leave that she made a song up for me on guitar, but we had to be alone when she sang it. I said ok, but never got the chance to hear it. We made plans in mid August to have a day alone where we would go for a picnic, play tennis, go swimming, go out for dinner, and finally go to a movie. She called me that mourning though and says she can't go. Another couple weeks go by and summer is over for her, but she had decided to stay living with my friend and go to school in my old high school. I had gotten accepted into a college which was a 20 hour drive away. Her summer was over by the end of August, but I wasn't going away to college until the end of September. On the third day after school had started for her, my friend held a small social gather at his house with my friends. She was going to bring a friend over too... a guy that she had met. My friends little sister later told me that she really liked this guy, so I wasn't so sure they were just friends. At this gathering, she spent the whole night sitting beside this guy with his arms around her. They even were kissing a bit, which made my eyes burn with fire. Later that night they asked to be alone, so my friend brought them to a place on the farm where he could watch them to make sure they never did anything. He then told me that apparently they had been making out earlier. So 15 minutes go by and were getting ready to leave, but I wanted to show her a song on guitar before I left. So my friend goes to get them and finds that they're gone. He gets really pissed because they promised they wouldn't leave. He starts yelling at the top of his lungs and they don't reply, so My friends and I form a search party and start driving around on 4X4's and running around the yard looking for them. Finally he gets his dad out and his dad instantly heard them whispering in some trees. He goes out there and grabs her and takes her inside, and tells us to bring the guy home or he would grab the shotgun. The guy then tells us that apparently he had a girlfriend, and was cheating on his girlfriend with this girl. A few days later the girl tells us she was so drunk she doesn't remember any of the night, and that she stopped hanging out with that guy because he was bad news. Over the next couple of weeks I heard that she was dating another guy in high school, but I believe they were just rumors. Finally the day before I move away comes around and that's when everything went wrong. I was at my friends house again and say the girl walk in with a whole bunch of pheasant feathers and I asked for one for a going away present, and she said only if I promised to see her again before I left, so I did. I call her the day before I leave and asked to take her out for dinner. So that night I pick her up and we go for chinese food, and she asks again what I was mad at her for. I then told her that if she came out and visited me in college then I would tell her ABSOLUTELY ANYTHING she wanted to know about me. And by anything, I mean if she even asked my dick size I would tell her. So she agreed to it because in the long run, she already was planning on visiting me. Later that night I bring her to the park and take a guitar out of my trunk and told her it was time that I heard that song she made up. So she plays it for me and I don't really remember it, just that it was sort of like she was saying sorry. The one thing she said was "we left on a sour note" and that line rung in my head forever. After she was finished, I hugged her and thanked her for making up that song. That must have ignited a spark that had been burning deep, deep down inside her. She then ran over and set the guitar on the ground and wrapped her arms around me and says "I know I've only told you this one, but I really do love you." Then before that even registered in my brain, I found myself saying "I love you too". A few seconds after saying that, I wished I hadn't because I really wasn't sure. I had grown such a hatred for her, yet I still liked her a lot and probably did love her. She then looks at me and says "when you get finished college, your going to come home and we're going to get married, OK?" I kind of chuckle once again and say OK, because I knew that there was basically no chance of that happening, even if I did like her a lot. So i bring her home and then move out to college at the beginning of october, 2007. 3 weeks go by and she finally went on MSN, so I gave her the number for my house. She then calls me a week later but we only talk for about half an hour because I had to go. She then calls me a few days later and we talk again for about 20 minutes, then she had to go. Then one month goes by and it isn't until the end of November that she finally calls me again. She said her life had been in a crises and she couldn't really talk to me. so we talk for a few minutes but she had to leave again. She said she'd call the next day and she does. This weekend I talked to her on MSN because she was on a lot. She told me that she was really hoping to hang out with me a lot for the 2 weeks that I'll be back home with my family for Christmas. Everything seemed fine between us and I was looking forward to seeing her again. Until what happened tonight. I decided to go on her profile page to see whats been up with her, and at the top I noticed it said she was now in a relationship with a guy from school. This guy lives less than .5KM from my friends house where she was living, and I know that my friend is good buds with the guy. Seeing that completely demolished me and broke down my spirit. I cried about it for about and hour, and then decided to come on here and ask for advice with what to do with her. Oh and I also forgot to mention that in the 1 year that has gone by since my breakup with this girl, I have cried about it about 75% of the nights and once in a while during the day. I'm flying back home on December 14th, and I might be seeing this girl on the 15th when I go to my friends house. This girl has really messed me up and I really need advice on what to do about her. I expect that she'll only date the guy for a month or 2 max, because thats how long all her boyfriends last. What I am asking is, what should I do about her? Should I wait until she is finished dating the guy and make a move on her? Or should I just completely forget about her and try to move on? (which by the way I have tried for the past year and it hasn't been going so well). Either way the girl is going to be coming out here to visit me. So what should I do?Thank You Sooo much for your help.
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anniversary, blow-job, broke up, christmas, cousin, drunk, escort, get a girlfriend, get back together, her ex, horny, I love you, kissing, liar, move on, msn, roommate, sex with another, shy, spark, still a virgin, underwear, video games Reply to this Question
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male
reader, rainy day +, writes (6 December 2007):
rainy day is verified as being by the original poster of the question k thanks for that.
Something I forgot to mention, she plans on visiting me out here in Feb or March. I told her I would tell her anything she wanted to know about me then, so thats basically when I'll tell her how I've felt about her for the last year. Also I'll tell her that I plan to stop speaking to her completely if she moves in with her friend, so I really hate. We'll see what happens with her reaction...
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (5 December 2007): OMG! your fingers must be hurting from typing lolAnyway...you have to answer your self a few questions ...Do you really want to be with someone that messes with your head like this???...Are you ready for sex?? Sorry sweetie but from the way you've wrote it that seems what she is after and it looks as though she is one of the ones that if she cant get it from one place (i.e sex,flirtatious behaviour e.t.c) she will go off with some one else and then lie her way round things when you find out.You already know this from her saying she was a Virgin to then changing her story of i just used a ex for sex.......My advice to you is wait and see how this relationship is with the new guy try and find out how she treats him as in will she cheat on him ? Does she tell him that she loves him and all the other crap that shes feeding you just to use guys....if yes get her out of your life if no then fight for her xxxxxx
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