A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:okay, first things first. i'm engaged to my wonderful fiance, who i love with all my heart, and i would never cheat on him, just to make that clear. he lives in another country, but that is somewhat irrelevant. anyways, i met this other guy through one of my friends, he's really cute and cool, and funny, and just cool to talk to/hang out with. i have no intention of ever hooking up with him, but i wouldn't mind getting to know him better and maybe text a little bit. i see him rarely but when i do, he always expresses an interest in me, and talking to me. i have a slight feeling he might have a thing for me, but that might just be my ego having fun. the only contact i have with him is he's my friend on facebook. no number, no email, nothing else. and i get the feeling he has a lot of girls who are friends/girlfriends. but the question is, i see him online on the instant messager, and i don't know if it would be too bold to message him first or not. i wait and wait for him to message me, but i know he's shy and awkward with girls, so he might not want to.so what i'm saying is, should i message him and just say what's up? or just keep waiting for him to message me? any advice is appreciated, and please no advice on fiance, i'm completely secure in my relationship with him. thanks so much in advance!
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reader, anonymous, writes (6 February 2012): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionyeah, you guys are both right. if it happens casually that i get to talk to him, that's fine, but i shouldn't be desperate for a message from him. and i wouldn't wanna do anything to hurt my guy's feelings. thanks a lot guys!!!
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (4 February 2012): It sounds to me as if you are getting attracted to this guy and it could be because your fiance is so far away. I think it would be a dangerous situation to take it further with the one who's close by. You need to think whether the long-distance relationship is enough for you and whether you can move the wedding forward or see more of each other.
There's not a lot to go on here. Do you email, phone, skype, message your fiance? One thing I do feel is that it's easier to develop a relationship with someone you see often rather than at long distance.
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A
female
reader, person12345 +, writes (4 February 2012):
 You're playing with fire here. If you don't intend to hook up with him, you're leading him on. If you do, you're cheating on our fiancé. Either way, it's not good... You're engaged, you can't be going out flirting with every guy who's interested in you for an ego boost. It can be fun to be hit on and flirted with, but seeking it out is a different thing.
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