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Should I finally just give up and realize that we are never going to be more than just friends?

Tagged as: Forbidden love, Friends<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (18 September 2009) 2 Answers - (Newest, 19 September 2009)
A female United States age 30-35, *luelesscutie writes:

So, there is this guy in my life who I've had a crush on (on and off) for about four years.

We have both dated other people during these four years yet there has always been something between us that is more than just friends. Some people call it a spark/chemistry whatever. It's just so easy to talk to him and I feel so comfortable when I'm with him. He just makes me happy and I forget about all of my problems when he is around, which doesn't happen often or with any other person.

There have been a few times where he has admitted to liking me more than a friend, but he has always felt that he was bad at relationships and didn't want to ruin the great friendship that we have if the relationship didn't work out. We are either not in each other's lives at all or we are and in this limbo land with us just being friends, but always acting like we are more.

We just started talking to each other again and I feel like we are headed back in the same direction. To make things worse, we are both in relationships with other people and I know that he thought he lost his chance with me when I started dating someone else and he started dating someone new soon afterwards.

I just don't know what do about him anymore. He is that one guy that I'll never escape, but should I finally just give up and realize that we are never going to be more than just friends? Should I play it out now that we are slowly starting to talk again and see what happens and take that chance with him if it happens to come by chance?

View related questions: crush, spark

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (19 September 2009):

Men are not as complicated as women, if he wanted to be with you, he would be. If he was scared of being in a relationship, he wouldn't be in one.

Stop overthinking this to try and find the answer that you want, he has given you the answer to the you+him equation, you just don't want to accept it. I am sorry hun, but he is just not into you (other than sex).

There are a lot of really good men out there that will treat you like gold, find one and worship him :), you will be much happier than you are now!

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A female reader, califnan United States +, writes (18 September 2009):

califnan agony auntI don't think it is good when people get into relationships to cover their feelings for someone else.. All you can do is to ask him if he is serious about his current relationship. You don't want others' to be hurt while you are trying to find your way to him - but it is something that should probably be worked out soon, since there are two other people involved..

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