A
female
age
41-50,
*esackerman
writes:My boyfriend of 5 months ex-girlfriend is constantly calling him or texting him. The thing is they were together for 4 1/2 years lived together so yes there are some issues that they need to speak on the phone. They are also on the EMS squad and Fire department for the same town... so they have many mutual friends... I'm with him often and I've approached regarding why is she always calling that there must be a reason. I told him I don't like it and he listens to my opinion and says he can't tell her not to call anymore because of the EMS and Fire department they need to communicate sometimes. Should I be threatened???
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female
reader, jesackerman +, writes (6 August 2007):
jesackerman is verified as being by the original poster of the question Dear Basschick,
Thanks for your words.... They were together 4.5 years they also lived together so they have alot of connections and same friends.. which i don't think he sees to much more anyway since his free time he is with me... She was dating someone but not anymore... He doesn't answer her calls when he's with me but just gets text messages... So maybe I'm just being paranoid and negative but I will keep one eyed open...
A
female
reader, Basschick  +, writes (1 August 2007):
 If she calls him about work, and you can tell by his answers and his tone of voice that their discussion isn't straying into personal things, it should be okay, especially if their discussions are BRIEF. But I am a little suspicious that she's simply using it as an excuse to talk to him and cause friction between you. Also alot is going to depend on how long they were together, how long have they been broken up, is she involved with anyone else, or still holding on to the hope that he's going to come back to her and whether or not he still has feelings for her. I like the idea of the answering machine, but it isn't going to fix the texting or e-mails that could still be going on.
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A
female
reader, jesackerman +, writes (1 August 2007):
jesackerman is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you for your advice. You know I'm not exactly sure who ended it I never felt like it was my place to ask. I will have to find that out somehow.
Thanks you
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (1 August 2007): If they need to communicate about work, have him tell her to leave a voicemail. This will help you feel secure and help you trust him.
This will send her a message that she can't use work for an excuse and she is no longer anything to him other than a work mate.
I think you should trust your gut-mate poachers know what they are doing.
Being she is female, she is doing the "I am so supportive and understanding" "She doesn't love you" "Poor baby routine" and waits in the wings for an oppurtunity.
He made his choice. He is with you and he needs to honour you now. You come first and she should be his past.
If talking to him doesn't work, get couples counselling so that it can be taken care of pronto.
Question: Who ended it? Why?
I sure hope you are not the rebound as that completely wounds. Take care of yourself and stick to your guns-you should never sacrifice your happiness for another.
Best Wishes.
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