A
female
age
30-35,
*ittle_Miss_Confused
writes:Hello. I turned 16 in April. i lost my virginity summer of '08. i was 15. i am so confused on whether or not to feel guilty or pleased or secrative or URGH i just don't know. i told my mother today that i've had sex. the thing is- when it happened, i was totally ready. emotionally, physically, mentally. everything. i didn't feel bad or guilty afterwards, it didn't hurt, everything was jsut wonderful. he was a virgin too. so it wasn't like he was sure either. but i've been reading about average loss of virginity and i don't know what to feel. should i feel guilty or pleased or neutral? i was just wondering if you could help me make my mind. i need some definate opinions, since mine is so messed up. THank you =]
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female
reader, Sarah12345 +, writes (11 May 2009):
 You cant change the past just get on with your life you should just feel normal ok
relax!!
A
female
reader, Little_Miss_Confused +, writes (11 May 2009):
Little_Miss_Confused is verified as being by the original poster of the questionYou all have been so helpful. and to the question of how my mother reacted, she said she was dissapointed but that she wasn't mad. she was just upset that i didnt tell her sooner.
but about my boyfriend, we're not together anymore, but the best-friend bit hasn't changed so i still talk to him like a best friend. he says that it wasn't a big deal, he told his parents ages ago. but then again he is a guy ^_^
again thank you for all your support and answers, they helped so much. =]
xoxoxox Little_miss_confused
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A
male
reader, DoubleM  +, writes (10 May 2009):
 You cannot change it. What is done is done, so feeling negative or worrying about it does you no good whatsoever. Just be selective in the future and try to keep your business to yourself.
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A
female
reader, miss hellfire +, writes (10 May 2009):
Hi there,
I was also 15 when i lost my virginity, i don't know how to explain it really, i guess it just happened. Afterwards i was so confused i didn't know what to do. The one thing you shouldn't do is feel guilty, it was obviously meant to be. It's just sex, it's not really a big deal, it's just been blown out of proportion to be a big deal. If you were ready to do it and you wanted it to happen you should be glad not resentful. Don't think about it and it won't confuse you anymore.
I'm now 21 and living life to the full, i suggest you finish school and just be happy in whatever it is you decide to do. Life's to short to feel guilty and resentful.
Good luck
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (10 May 2009):
 Will the guilt help you? Will the guilt give you a new hymen?
No and no.
Just understand that for a lot of women and girls having sex is a BIG thing emotionally and there is NOTHING wrong with that.
I can not tell you WHAT to feel. But I can give you this advice. Not being a virgin no more does not make you any less of a good person.
There is such much pressure out there for young teen agers to be "adults" "mature" "responsible", and when it comes to sex there is much peer pressure to "get it over with".
Use common sense, have self respect and never sell yourself short.
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A
female
reader, kathi +, writes (10 May 2009):
 You sound like you are very mature, a lot more than adults I know....
If you have feelings for each and talked about it, considered the responsibilities if you become pregnant (USE PROTECTION)---
Follow your heart!!! if you can talk to him about things that is great, he is your best friend.
What does your heart tell you about telling your mother??????
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A
male
reader, The Gentle Man +, writes (10 May 2009):
 You already answered your own question. You said you were ready "emotionally, physically, mentally. everything. i didn't feel bad or guilty afterwards, it didn't hurt, everything was jsut wonderful. he was a virgin too. so it wasn't like he was sure either."
Seems like you had a good time and had no regrets. Theres nothing here to suggest you should feel guilty.
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A
female
reader, kimmy098 +, writes (10 May 2009):
 first u seem like a decent person. the leagal age of consent is 16 and no matter how hard you try you cant get that back.
the fact that you told your mum proves that you were responsable enough to accept your desicions. every body is different and no1 can tell you when the right time to loose your virginity. as long as you are safe.
no matter how you feel now you can't undo the past. every1 has second thoughs evntualy but seeing as you were ready i think you answered your own questions
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