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age
51-59,
anonymous
writes: I am having secret relationship with my ex-husband no longer former best friend's, is this trouble or what? Here is the background of how and why this developed. It started eight months after I left and filed for divorce. That is NOT why I left and filed for divorce. My ex was using hard drugs, lied, cheated on me over the course of ten years, I know it is hard to believe but no one knew what he was doing, because he hid his secret lifestyle so well and I believed him and thought he was working hard, long hours. Until one day it caught up to him and he lost his job and money, the truth came out. After I came to realize what he was doing I called his family and friends to help. After the help he got I choose to stay together and hope that our life could change for the better for the sake of our family. During that year I talked to his friend and a friendship developed only. It helped a great deal and I really got to understand it all and what was for the best. We also realized that the person we were trying to help was a selfish person. My ex soon went back to is old lifestyle and his friend and I were fooled of his lies again. Tired of it I made the decision I no longer wanted to ride on his crazy lifestyle of lies and left and his friend ended their friendship because of the same reason a couple of months later. Forward a year later and I was settle with myself, and ready to move on. My ex is happy and moved on as well. The relationship just happen should we feel gulity or ashamed? Just want to move on and be happy and live the the life that I deserve.
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best friend, cheated on me, divorce, drugs, lost his job, money, move on, my ex Reply to this Question
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male
reader, eddie85  +, writes (4 October 2012):
 No, I don't see any fouls here -- other than your motives. If you are hoping to stick a knife in your ex's life by dating his ex-best friend then I think what you are doing is wrong, but if you are genuine in your feelings towards him, than there is nothing wrong here.
The only thing I do caution you about is that eventually your relationship will have to go public. I think you need to ask yourself what those ramifications might be as well as if you are willing to deal with them. Also, consider that his best friend may still have some loyalties to your ex.
Congrats on making a positive change in your life, however.
Good luck.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (3 October 2012): This is a no go area
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A
female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (3 October 2012):
 You have started this relationship now, so there is no point wondering if you should feel guilty or not. Personally I always feel it is a no go for friends to go with there friends ex's even if the friendship is over. But I can understand why you got close to his friend and why you both started a relationship. I am sure you had a tough time with your ex and you deserve to be happy. As you have mentioned he has moved on. The only thing I feel now is you should not be having a secret relationship. If you are serious about each other then don't hide the relationship you are both adults and deserve to enjoy your relationship. However I would suggest that you tell your ex the news himself so he does not find out from a stranger.
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