A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hello, so I have quite the dilemma here. I am a gay man in his early 20's. I just recently hooked up with a guy that a friend of mine was messing around with, which I didn't know. I met my friend a few months ago, and later found out that he works at the gym where I usually work out. Well, I told my friend about the hook up with this guy and he got mad at me. Apparently he was also hooking up with that guy. He blocked me on Facebook and doesn't want to be friends anymore. I told him that I didn't know he was messing with that guy otherwise I wouldnt have messed with him. He told me that it should have made sense since this guy is the only guy from (particular country) that goes to the gym. I told him that I found out this guy's nationality after the conversation we had after we had some fun... and also told him that he never told me the name of the guy, and that it didn't make sense since the gym we go to happens to have a lot of gays as members. I am not the type of guy to mess with people that my friends have messed with, so I tried to clarify this with my friend. At first I felt bad, but then I realized that I shouldn't feel bad since I was not aware that my friend was messing with that guy. I tried to work things out with my friend, but he seems to place the blame on me. he even sent me a text thanking me for being a good friend for having sex with someone he was having sex with. He still thinks bad about me even after I explained to him the whole situation and how I didn't know they were hooking up. My friend did tell me he was messing with someone from the gym, but never told me who that guy was.Anyway, in a way I kind of do feel bad, but at the same time I don't since I know I wouldnt have messed with that guy if I had known my friend was messing with him too.I guess my question should be if I should feel bad/guilty? and is my friend just over reacting?
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (19 October 2014): Nothing you can do. You apologised. Once, which should be more than plenty. Your friend is stubborn, and wrong to treat you like this. He's in the wrong here. I wouldn't do anything from now on. He should apologise to you on his own. If he doesn't, he just wasn't a good friend to begin with.
A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (15 October 2014):
 Why should you feel bad? You friend called DIBS on the dude and you are supposed to magically know WHICH dude it was? YOU didn't do it intentionally. So stop beating yourself up.
And secondly, if the dude were having sex with HIM and you, he probably is with EVERY guy that tickles his fancy. The DUDE wasn't serious about you or your friend, just in getting laid.
My only advice, I hope you used protection, because "gym Dude" seems to get around.
And... you friend seems like a teenage drama llama.
In all honesty I think he is more mad that what he had with "gym dude" was not as serious as HE had hoped. NOT your fault.
Give your friend some space. Maybe he will come around, maybe he won't.
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