A
male
age
36-40,
*ners01
writes:My Girlfriend is a system analyst and makes more money then me. Should I feel ashamed? I feel almost like I've been de-masculine-ed
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male
reader, CaringGuy  +, writes (13 June 2010):
Nope, not at all. My girlfriend earns a lot more than me, and I don't care at all. We still treat each other, and we still split bills when we come together.
A
male
reader, rivi  +, writes (13 June 2010):
But is your income sufficient so you can pay your way - eg in restaurants ?
Or if you were living together can you pay half the rent etc ? If she is not having to subsidize you I wd think stop worrying. But if she is that would explain your concern..... and yes it would de - masculine you.
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A
male
reader, C. Grant +, writes (13 June 2010):
 This isn't the 1950s. These days a man is judged by more than his income. I would imagine she feels your character has something to do with why she cares to be with you.
Nevertheless:
If you're someone who feels your self-worth is tied to your paycheque, then ask yourself the following: Are you doing as well as you could? Does your job have potential to be more, so that by sticking with it you can earn lots more? Could you be taking night courses or doing other things to improve your credentials? Are you letting lucrative opportunities slip by?
Or a different take: are you doing what you love? Does your work, despite paying less than hers, make a real difference?
For what it's worth, when my (now) wife and I first moved in together, I made half again what she did. Twenty odd years later she makes about twice what I do (and yes, I make rather more than I did when I started out). In the meantime we've raised children and otherwise been a team, and she's excelling at what she is skilled at doing. I could doubt myself by comparing our incomes. Instead I see that we've both made choices that strengthen our family.
Your call, bud.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (13 June 2010): No, don't.
Many women are very successful these days. If you both are doing things that make you happy, then money shouldn't matter a bit. Be a gentleman about it. It really doesn't matter.
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