A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I'm 16, and i have a crush on my teacher. But it feels like so much more than that. It started last april, when we went on a school trip. We were all in one area in the hotel, and he was sitting down. I was standing not too far from him and i just happened to look over at him and he was looking straight at me. I didn't know what to do about this, but that's when my crush started. I couldn't stop glancing over at him to see if he was looking back, and some of the time he was. At the end of the trip, the students were all in a store, and i was looking at something in an asile...he came over by me and thats when i felt it, i knew he had feelings for me, because i looked up at him and he looked up, but then he instantly looked away. We were boarding the buses and since we had a large group, we took two buses. Well, i was on one bus, while he was on the other..i was with my friends waiting for the bus driver to come back, and as i was walking out the door, he was walking in the bus..i kept watching him to see if he was going 2 look at me, and i think he did, because he looked back in my direction. He's the teacher that everyone likes, and everyone talks to and hangs around in his room. After the trip, i was so excited to have his class, and when i did, it always felt like he was looking at me, and sometimes i just knew he was. Things have changed, he seems so busy now, and i don't think he has feelings for me anymore, because he doesn't look at me as much. It may be that he's too busy with other things and his job, but i'm not sure. I wish i could just tell him how i feel, i've thought about emailing him, but i know that would not be a good idea at all. Im not even sure if he feels that way about me. I find myself always looking for him when i'm walking down the halls, or walking to another room. I still look forward to his class, but its not as exciting as it was. He acts different around me now, its almost like he's trying to ignore me. In class one day, i had to leave for something, and when i got up to tell him, he just sat there and i waited for his response, but all he did was nod and wore a blank expression on his face. I feel confused and unsure of my feelings. I want to know how he feels, or used to feel about me. Or if he ever had feelings about me.
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reader, anonymous, writes (17 November 2010): Gosh, I hate to be so blunt, but here goes. This is probably how he feels: he is in mental anguish and NEEDS you to leave him alone. This is something I went through in high school. I had a teacher that gazed at me every time I sat in his class. At first I was afraid to look at him, but finally I did and he didn't look away. This of course, cause my heart to jump up in my throat and I had to look away; it was too much. But right after, I found the courage to go ahead and lock eyes with him. We held each other's gaze for several minutes at a time without ever looking away. This was soon on a daily basis throughout the school year. This caused us to connect on a very deep level. This is actually something that New Age spiritualists do to gain intimacy. Really stupid on his part because we couldn't have a legal relationship; I'm sure he sees how senseless it was now. He would make comments like, "I enjoy you paying attention to me in class," and what not. And we confided in each other about many things. But when I started to take things to the NEXT level, which I advise you NOT to do, by touching him on the shoulder all the time and telling him how I'm thinking about him all the day, that I like him and miss him, etc., it came to a devastating end. He went to the administration. As an adult looking back, I don't blame him. He didn't want to lose his job or his reputation. It was against the law for him not to report me. He had to save face. It's true that he started it, but no teacher will ever admit that. If you try to pursue a relationship while you are in school, he will turn on you. He HAS to. It's the only way to keep from being called the worst name in the world--I hate even saying the vile word--pedophile, which he probably isn't. If you really, really love him, put yourself in his shoes and try to understand things for his perspective. Teachers have crushes on students, but they have a lot more to lose. What would you do if you did know he liked you? You could do nothing. Concentrate on going to college, so you will be more like his one of his peers someday. Then after college, if he's not married, ask him out. Nevertheless, you'll probably be totally over him by then.
A
female
reader, mysterious_blonde_lady  +, writes (6 June 2009):
Hmmm... you study this teacher alot, he has consumed you. I think you can easily apply here the same rules you can apply to any person. If you chase someone incessantly or come across that way then people tend to 'run'. I may be wrong, but it could be that he knows you fancy him or at least that you have taken an interest in him and he feels awkward in your presence he might fancy you too and this will only add to awkwardness. A good thing is; he may be a decent man, if he knows you like him and he likes you also but he is avoiding you - this means he is moral and trustworthy. It would be a bad sign if he was chasing you, trust me. If you still have feelings for this teacher when you leave (after age 18) you can always initiate something (just go for a drink) if he not married. If a teacher does not 'hit on you' when he is attracted to you, that is the biggest compliment he can serve you because it shows that he respects you and cares about you and not only that it also shows that he has strength of character, he is loyal to his word his job and you can trust him.
Another explanation; if he is attracted to you and doesn't quite knoiw how to deal with it, is avoiding you hoping you will do the same; or alternatively he knows you are attracted to him and feeling is not mutual or he fears for his job.
There are many explanations; busy yourself, stop bothering with him. If he liked you he won;t have stopped, it will be a pretense intended to make you believe its stopped. Leave him alone for a while and concentrate on something else, be obvious about it or get a boyfriend you'll soon know if he likes you because he will chase or he will be hurt. It's easy to be friends with people first, there is no rush, time is not running out. So don't worry yourself.
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A
female
reader, ilovemb +, writes (11 December 2008):
 i kinda no how u feel...i really like my teacher tooyour not alone....i like my teacher alot too...
hes my history teacher Michael and i think i'm falling in love with you but hes not exactly hot but he's soooo nice and i think hes going to be my formteacher next year as hes in my house and i'm really worried im going to blurt something out or do something really stupid. the more i think about him th worse it gets. and the worse thing is when i think about with his girlfreind i feel really sick and i through up once. it hurts me so much and i only have 2 history lessons a week and next year i probably won't get him. i have really weird dreams about him... u can guess. i make up any excuse to walk pass his classroom...and i get disappointed when hes not there. i think he likes me (as a student) as im really attentive in class. wen eva i look at him and he looks back and we just stare at each other 4 like 10 seconds. is doesnt sound like anything at all but it means the world to me....im not looking 4 advice that im not alone, but i need to get over him before i dont want to. theres another teacher (she) who i think hes going out with ... they kiss alot and i feel sick weneva i see that. i dont want to stop liking him but i Have to... i want to tell him but i think it would be really awkward or something like that...
hes soooooo nice and his facebk pic makes him look sooo hot and i dont want to fall in love with him. it sounds strange but ive only known him 4 a term but i feel like hes my friend.... i want to hug and kiss him.....and i keep thinking anout him...its a no hoper.
i get really shy around him and i really want him as my form teacher and history teacher but i doubt it. i just dont no how to stop fancing him ....the only thing that stops me from thinking about him 4 a bit is when i imagine him in bed wiv his girlfreind...it makes me feel so sick and jealous...
anyway ur problem i wouls advise going to his classroom (if he has one) and tell him that you need to talk to him...ask him first whether he has time to talk..if he does just tell him ' long pause - then incline your head down so that your not looking at him and then look up again and look strait into his eyes and tell him how you feel. my advice would be to cry and say that your sorry...and then wait for him to say something and if he doesn't then say u have to go soon and then look at him expectantly. if he still doesnt say anything then get up and walk to the door and then look bak..if hes looking at u then look into his eyes smile. look into eyes for as long as you can it doesn't matter if you blink. then say please dont tell anyone. look on the verge of tears and walk away. if he comes after u and he says something like 'im flattered but u no nothing can eva happen...student teacher rules etc' say i no but i can't help how i feel and how can i get over u. if you just turn to him say i really have to go. look deep into his eyes 4 as long as u can then smile and walk away and if you want to look back.
remember that the teacher hasnt sworn an oath not to tell (unless hes a counciller) so dont get too mad at him if he tells although he should be albe to not tell anyone...part as a friend and a teacher...
if you are going to tell him then good luck!!
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (15 November 2008): Maybe he is ignoring you now because he could lose his job and it is completely wrong. You need to stop this. He is your teacher. Find someone your own age dear.
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A
female
reader, Teacake +, writes (15 November 2008):
 Its normal to have a crush on a teacher. They are surrounded b young innocent girls every day - year after year. Its natural for them to find the young girls attractive. He sounds like a decent man for ignoring you. It is illegal and improper for a teacher to take advantage of a student.
All of us girls have had a mad crush on a few teachers. Its normal. But do not email him. No doubt many girls have had a crush on him too. Its sad of course to want someone who we can not be with, but this will happen to you many times.
By next year you will have all but forgotten him! Its true.
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