A
female
age
30-35,
*dubb
writes:I've been with my boyfriend for almost 2 and a half years, and I found out he cheated on me. I asked him plenty of times if he had cheated, or if he ever would; and he just kept denying. Finally a couple days ago I confronted him with actual proof, and he finally admitted to me. He said he was truly sorry, and that he just took the opportunity when it was in front of him. Even though it hurt so much, I gave him another chance. He said he would break up with her eventually, he just didn't wanna hurt her either (there's so much more to this story, but I'm keeping it short). The past two days he continued to stay with her, while I was waiting for this to end. Finally he ended it today. This made me so happyBut my question is, should I even stay with him in the first place; through all of this? Idk if I can even trust him again, but I'm working on forgiving him. Everyone deserves a second chance.What would you do?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (11 August 2010): to the other commentator, it seems to me the cheating came first. That's why she kept on bugging her boyfriend with the 'cheating question'. Women are usually very perceptive. We sense when something isn't right. Thing is, this lady already knows in her heart what she should do. She's just trying to find a reason to stay with this guy. Only you can make that decision. But think about it, this guy cares about this other girl's feelings. It wasn't just sex. Either that or he's just a very caring guy. Not everyone deserves a second chance but if you want to give him a second chance, make sure you can handle it.
A
female
reader, Carrot2000 +, writes (31 July 2010):
 He was so sorry he cheated, yet it took him two days to break up with the other girl because he was worried about HER feelings? Please re-read what you just wrote; you're asking for advice because you know you're making the wrong move staying with this guy.
You're too young to even think about putting up with this kind of shit. Please let him go on his merry way. You deserve so much better than this.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (30 July 2010):
 No I would no stay in this relationship. No way, no how.
He will continue to cheat on you. He will just be better at hiding it. I also want to BET he didn't tell the other girl about you. So basically he was stringing along two girls... or more?
Dump the sucker. Find a REAL man.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (30 July 2010): No, everyone does NOT deserve a second chance. And especially not this guy. Read this as though this was a third party. Do you think the guy respects the girl asking the question? As an outsider, I can safely say "no". Once a cheater...
Run the hell away from him.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (30 July 2010): Asking your boyfriend over and over again if he's cheating is annoying for him and shows you don't trust him to not cheat. He might've subconsciously seized the opportunity to make his punishment (you repeatedly asking him if he's cheating) match his crime (actually cheating).
However, he still could've used better judgment and not cheated on you. However, you said, "He said he would break up with her eventually, he just didn't wanna hurt her either." Uh, excuse me? This doesn't mean he just cheated on you; it means she is his second girlfriend. Here's the deal: if he really cared about you, he wouldn't have taken her on and he wouldn't have taken so much time breaking up with her so as not to hurt her feelings. It sounds like your boyfriend fed you a lot of lines in this situation.
I generally tend to hold the opinion that "once a cheater, always a cheater," so I don't really see this clearing up and never happening again, particularly if you are open with your feelings about not trusting him.
It's really hard to leave someone after being with them for 2 1/2 years, so this is a big decision for you. You said you think "everyone deserves a second chance," but you have to consider whether you'll be comfortable in your relationship knowing that he's a cheater.
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A
female
reader, katieleeds  +, writes (30 July 2010):
Hi, get rid! simple as that. You waited 2 days for him to decide what he wanted and he knew it, what a lovely man, how thoughtful ! (wouldn't have given him 2 minutes) - I don't suppose he was playing scrabble whilst making this decision either!
You will never trust him again, and it will drive you crackers when he is not with you as you will wonder what he is doing, or says he has to go "away" for a few days or you can't contact him (they usually switch off their mobile, nothing worse than trying to contact your fella and it goes straight to voicemail!) and I don't think he deserves a second chance either. You don't say how long he had been cheating on you though, not that it makes any difference, the dirty deed has been done hasn't it !
I was cheated on and could never forgive him or forget the hurt he put me through, some women can (good luck to them) but I couldn't, I was hurt yes when I finished it, but a few months down the line and am feeling alot better. By the way, get a new Sim card and change your mobile number, thats what I did then your not tempted to ring him if your feeling a bit p***d off or missing him and he can't contact you when he's at a loose end and feeling sorry for himself !
Good luck ! and I hope you meet someone that you can trust in the future xx
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