A
female
age
26-29,
*elpme101111111
writes: I have been with my boyfriend for nearly 2 years now but i am 18 and just starting to feel like i want to have other boyfriends and get to know other guys. I do really love my boyfriend but hes kind of more my bestfriend now. I defintely dont have that excitement or passion anymore. I also am not really sexually attracted to him anymore whereas im way more attracted to other guys. However, im really worried ill regret it as I do love an do care about him plus he really loves me and i know it will break his heart. Plus he has a hard home life ans my family really helphim out so i feel so guilty, to make that worse hes supposed to come on my family holiday this summer and hes so excited. Im worried its just a phase and if i end it i will regret it. Im also so stressed with school so maybe its that which is putting me off?Anyway im just so stressed and confused and i cant stop thinking about itany advice is welcome
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, aunt honesty +, writes (28 February 2017):
Honestly if you are having doubts then that usually means deep down you don't want to be with him. If you are looking at other men and not him then that is showing you the relationship has ran its course. You are not responsible for his happiness and it really is kinder to end things than to live a lie.
A
female
reader, Campari Milano +, writes (26 February 2017):
I know you love him and don't want to hurt him, but it's over!
Unfortunately, that's just the way it goes. Maybe, eventually you'l be friends, probably you won't.
You cannot string it out and let him come on holiday with your family! Sun and alcohol has a way of praying on weak relationships.
End it now. While all that is wrong is, it's run it's course.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (22 February 2017): For proper perspective, I have to share that marriage has a similar phase. But you're just 18 and you're way too far from that. The only way to learn is to make decisions and learn to live with these decisions. Because what I'm getting is that you're afraid it would later turn out to be the wrong decision if you leave your man. Who knows, right? But, at least, you know better next time. You have the whole world at the palm of your hands, my love. Enjoy.
Love, M
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A
female
reader, helpme101111111 +, writes (22 February 2017):
helpme101111111 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks for the advice :))
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (22 February 2017): The wild spectacular mind blowing butterflies in your tummy passion does change over time into a completely comfortable loving friendship with full trust and a caring enveloping calmness that is true love. Are you thinking that the passion escalates over time?Or are you discounting that you have found true love with your best friend and a calm and peace that represents a settling? Look at loving long term partners. They are enveloped in a calm acceptance that all is right with the world because they have each other.I suggest that you take a vacation with some girl friends and resolve to not cheat while away but do kick your heels up a little and enjoy yourself. Relax and see how it feels to have no contact with him for a couple of weeks away.After the vacation you may find that your are glad he is like he is and that he and you do have more in common than you thought.
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A
male
reader, Phil052 +, writes (22 February 2017):
You are very young and at an age when relationships often come and go. It's difficult because you care for him and there are commitments like the holiday that will have to be broken, but you shouldn't stay with him just for those reasons. It wouldn't be fair on him or you. Just be gentle if you do decide to end it.
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