A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I'm here because i need other people's advice other than family members or friends. Me and my man have been in a LDR for one year and 4 months now. we have never met in person but i speak to him on msn, skype, video calls, webcam everyday. My family know about him as do my friends, his family know about me and so does his friends. we both have a conncection which is unexplanable. He is planning on coming to see me this summer if he has got a free slot during his summer schooling. we have talked alot about our future and most probably we wont be together properly untill we both are around 21-22 due to both our studying..we are both 17 now. I'm hoping we will see eachother during those 4 years on vacations but money is really the issues with this. i really like him, could even say I love him. I'm just at the stage where I really miss his physical presence. The little stuff like walks in the park, trip to the cinema, cosy sunday afternoons watching dvds.I have spoke to my mum about this and she is worried that spending all my time on the computer talking to him is holding me back from gaining life experiences in the real world. she is worried that this relationship isn't leading to anything meaningful and I'm wasting my years just waiting and creating what she calls 'a fantasy land' and i should slowly drift apart from him and close contact. But I'm afraid of letting down everyone by doing this, letting down all my family and his family. not to mention he will be absolutly heart broken. I don't know what the best thing i can do is, im in need of others opinions on the situation i am in and some adivice on what to do pleaseee :D
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (13 March 2010): Thankyou so much for all of your adivce ... i have thought long and hard about this decision and i finally made it today and told my online buddy that i want to slow our relationship down, not loose contact but just be friends and if it was meant to be we would find eachother again in a couple of years. i explained everything to him and suprisingly he understood and respected my choice.Right now I'm focusing more on going out, having fun, meeting other boys and my studies. thankyou very much again for your comments, it really helped me make my decision. :D
A
male
reader, duke57  +, writes (10 March 2010):
Honestly, you're too young to be committing yourself to someone who is not even there physically.
Go out and enjoy life, and if you two are meant to be, you'll get back together in four years when you can have a "real" relationship. You can still be friends, just don't let him consume all your time.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (10 March 2010): I understand how you're feeling, as I have been through the same thing. My online man and I knew each other through a website for 6 years, and we've been talking every night for HOURS on Skype for 2 years. It happened at a good time. I had decided to take a break from dating. Although, we still talk every day, I'm opening myself up to meeting men that are here in my reach. My net man had been promising that he'd visit this year, and he has yet to give me a time frame. As much as I like what I've seen over Skype, I can't wait forever. If he doesn't commit to coming to see you, I'd forget about the romance side of it.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (10 March 2010): Maybe talk to him about having a different knid of relationship. It sounds like you are great friends but maybe that is all you are. Go out and get some life experience and don't pin all your hopes on one guy; especially one online.
If you really think he is the one, then just sort of put it on hold. If its true love then you will find each other again. Dont break contact but go out and find out more about life and other people...
Dont strap yourself to a computer you need to know about life outside aswell...
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