A
female
age
36-40,
*manda 01
writes:I've decided that even tho I'm hopelessly in love with a guy I've been having an affair with, it's time to end it. He is married, and I know he's never gonna leave her, I'm just tired of holding my emotions inside, and waiting for him to be mine, when I don't think it's ever gonna happen. We do 90% of our communicating through text, should I text him goodbye? Or should I do this in person? What should I say? I love him, this is so hard, but I know it's best!
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male
reader, Serpico +, writes (30 November 2012):
Given the circumstances, I think a text is fine.
A
female
reader, Ciar  +, writes (29 November 2012):
 I agree with the others about not ending it in person or over the phone. You have strong feelings for this guy which makes you vulnerable to persuasion should he decide he wants to continue the affair.Since your relationship is really just one of convenience, I would treat it that way by ending it via text or maybe even email. That's the way you usually commincate anyway so don't treat this arrangement as special when he doesn't.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (29 November 2012):
 I would NOT do it in person, I would just rip that band-aid off and text him and them tell him NO CONTACT.
Block his number, un-friend & block him on Farcebook and whatnot.
And.. honey... Word of advice.... Don't "date" a married man again. You will be the one with the pain and honestly, a man who is willing to cheat on his wife.. will be willing to cheat on you.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (29 November 2012): I don't think you should tell him at all.
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A
female
reader, oldbag  +, writes (29 November 2012):
 Hi
I wouldn't tell him,no texts or phone calls.Just delete and block him. Don't give him any opportunity to talk you round because he will try.
You are going to need to be very strong, you've made the right choice and you know it,to finish it.Let him work it out for himself, he's a big boy.
Keep as busy as you can,enjoy the festive season,your free now.
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A
female
reader, eyeswideopen +, writes (29 November 2012):
 Do it any way you want just do it ASAP. There are no rules for the "proper" end to an affair. Tell him and never contact him again.
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (29 November 2012):
 I would not do it in person for the simple reason that you probably normally meet in private so he does not get caught cheating... and it will give him the chance to beg plead and whine and PROMISE that he will end it with his wife for you "just as soon as I'm able"
You are very brave and wise and right to be ending it.
I would just call him... (no texting since you can't be sure he will get it) and let him know you are done.
then block his phone numbers from your phone and his facebook/twitter and email.
it will hurt
it will hurt a lot for a while
but in the long run it will hurt less than being his little something on the side...
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