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Should I end my long distance relationship with my boyfriend?

Tagged as: Big Questions, Cheating, Long distance, Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (5 August 2010) 1 Answers - (Newest, 5 August 2010)
A female United Kingdom age 30-35, anonymous writes:

Hi!

I've been with my boyfriend/bestfriend for four years. The first year, I was with him and the rest, its an on and off long distance relationship. I only see him everytime the family goes on holiday to my home country.

Most people told me not to get serious in a relationship because im too young. But when im with him, everything goes wonderful, calm, peace and the world just stop spinning and we're the only people. He could make me laugh and smile all the time, i could tell him everything and not judge me. I feel secured, protected, loved and beautiful.

But when my family moved to england, major problems started to bubble up. He cheated on me once with this girl whom he said nothing happened. I believed him and then we got back together. Since then, we have better communication and better long distance relationship. But after a while i start doubting if i did the right thing. If getting back with him was the right decision and if i am missing out on my adolescent.

Months and months, i was just basically going with the flow and then summer vacation began. Family decided to go on holiday in my homecountry instead of other ones. We stayed there for a month, and everyday he was always with me. That was my best summer vacation ever, the things we did together and our friends...it was just memorable..so much fun...We talked about the future and he told me, he could see us growing old together...and having our beach house and all those little things. he told me i was the one.

For me? i see myself living with him, but i dont see the growing old bit.

Since then we rarely argue, in 3 years LDR, you could say we only argued less than 10 or 15 times. His always sweet and caring but i guess im getting bored or tired or im not sure...its really confusing. I love him but i have thoughts of breaking up. Like im creating reasons to end the wonderful relationship.

Im scared that if i let him go, i wont find a perfect for me boyfriend, the regrets too...but most important, i cant bear to see him hur. Scared to loose my boyfriend and my bestfriend..

thanks for all your help....

View related questions: cheated on me, got back together, long distance, on holiday

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A female reader, tennisstar88 United States +, writes (5 August 2010):

tennisstar88 agony auntPpl are going to get on here and tell u LDRs dont work but they do my husband and I were in for a year..and yours is 3 times longer than mine. 4 years later and now ur having a lil doubt specifically after he cheated..Do u still have trust in him or are u still a lil wary? Im gonna go ahead and say if you dont see yourself growing old with him and want him as your husband, and your having doubts then I would end it. Youre young and there are still plenty of men out there for u..if ur tired of being tied down opt for a break up and date a lil just to see whats out there. But if he's not the one, then dont waste ur time any longer. Everyone's gonna be hurt but time will heal and he'll come around and still want to be friends. Dont worry ur young get out there and live ur life!

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