A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Should I or not?I recently came across the email address of my boyfriend's 19 year old girlfriend. For 6 months he had been seeing me all the while seeing her too. I've known about her for 5 months now, she doesn't know about me. She lives an hour away so its easy to hide.O broke it off 2 weeks ago but he won't let go. She thinks he is going to marry her, he may. But he said if he marries her it is for comfort. Should I email her and tell her everything? Or just leave it alone?I would want to know. But maybe love is blind and she is better off in the dark. Reply to this Question
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female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (2 June 2011):
 I say tell her and warn her about what kind of man she is with. Why did you stay with him for 5 months after knowing he was cheating?
I think she deserves to know the truth, she hasn't done anything to deserve such treatment. And you certainly do not owe it to your ex to keep quiet, after what he did to you.
I say this is your business as you were with this guy and know what he was doing, while she doesn't know. You and her are on the same side, so why leave her in the dark while you get out?
Undoubtedly he'll do the same and continue to date two or more women at the same time. Spare her the heartache if you can. Send her an e-mail, and if you have any proof send it along as well. Make sure you write in detail, otherwise your ex might find out and prevent you from contacting her again. So better to send it all in one go.
What she does with the information is up to her.
A
female
reader, person12345 +, writes (2 June 2011):
 It's not your place to tell her she's been cheated on. What will it do for you? It will ruin her relationship, make both of them miserable, etc... Chances are, dating a guy that big of a jerk she won't end up with him anyways. My advice is cut your losses and find a better guy. Next time wait until he's single as well, since guys dating two girls at once never intend to "pick."
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A
female
reader, RedAthena +, writes (2 June 2011):
 It is not your business. You will only come across as a bitter person who wants to hurt others.
You only know OF her, you probably do not really KNOW her or anything about her.
Cut your ties with BOTH of them and wash your hands and be happy you are rid of such a mess.
If you invite DRAMA in, they come and bring freinds!
Best Wishes.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (2 June 2011): Let her know, if you have her email address that would be best.
Let her know so that she can protect herself from him. Since you knew about her for several months, tell her the whole story, how you found out, and ask for her to forgive you for not coming forward earlier.
Don't see him again, tell her that you are sorry, and I agree with prior poster on sleeping with guys who are involved with someone else, don't make that mistake again.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (2 June 2011): I was in the situation where I was in a relationship with a guy who lived a couple of hours away. and he was seeing someone else local. When she found out about me she contacted me straight away and I was thankful to know that he was wasting my time. He will lie to her about what you say and badmouth you if you say anything. In the end it's your decision, but in my case I was hurt of course, but was happy to not waste any more of my time on him. It's a hard situation but I would say tell her. Hope it helps, good luck.
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A
female
reader, OhGetReal +, writes (2 June 2011):
 You knew he had a long distance girlfriend and you allowed yourself to be used. Now you're pissed she doesn't know he cheated on her. Tell his lying ass that he better come clean with his girlfriend or you'll tell her everything. Watch him sweat, but don't contact her, he'll just lie and trash you. She won't be marrying him so don't worry about her. Just stop sleeping with guys who are not committed to you.
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