A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I'm in love with my boyfriends best friend! I've been with my fella for just under 2 years now. I fell head over heels for him, everything was perfect. Then it started going down hill when my brother passed away, I felt so alone I couldn't talk to my boyfriend about it. I became close to one of his mates Gary who became my 'brother from another mother' but then he passed away 6months after my real brother did. Our circle of friends became close, and I started getting close with my boyfriends best friend. I had always thought he was fit but never thought I'd do anything. Then on my birthday we all got really drunk and I ended up in bed with his best mate! We didn't have sex but it was close. We've had something between us since that night! I've found myself now having a full on affair with him (I know its so wrong, but I can't help it) I can't leave my boyfriend as he is the sweetest person in the world... he's had such a shit year, his dad, his grandma and his other bestmate has died and he is so down so I can't leave him. I do love him and he loves me but I also am in love with his best mate who loves me too! I don't know what to do!
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (2 June 2011): Thank you all for your answers I really appreciate your honesty. Its just hard as I know I've got to tell him and I can deal with him knowing what I've done and hating me for it... but I can't stand the thought of him losing his best mate.
A
female
reader, justme..x +, writes (2 June 2011):
 "I can't leave my boyfriend as he is the sweetest person in the world" ... well, I'm afraid it's a bit late. I'm sorry but if you think that then you shouldn't be cheating on him with his best mate. You said yourself he's already had "a shit year". Now you're cheating on him. You were all happily in love - probably the only light he had during a pretty hard time - and now all of a sudden he is sharing you with another man, not just any man, his best friend. So there's a massive break of trust and relationship issues from you, but on top of that he's got his best friend's betrayal to deal with.I appreciate this sounds very dramatic and very harsh to you, and I'm sorry - please appreciate I'm not just saying this to make you feel guilty. But you need to see. Yes, it is possible to love two people at once, but in your case it's a very sticky situation. You say they both love you, and I don't doubt that, but you can't keep counting on their affection - You CANNOT see this as a case of "choose the best - which partner is more suitable for me? Who do I prefer? They both want me, after all." ... that's a very selfish way to look at it. They have the right to a decision too. You can't use a person as a back up or a fallback or a second choice. In my opinion, you need to come clean as it's the right thing to do. It is then up to your boyfriend how he acts. You'll have to deal with the consequences. Imagine if it was the other way round; if he had an affair with your closest girlfriend and claimed to be in love with her. Surely you'd feel so hurt, so betrayed and humiliated upon finding out that you'd chuck him if only to keep your pride? I'm sure you'd also be furious with your friend. This is going to cause a massive issue with him and his best friend as well as your own relationship. It all depends on how he reacts. Obviously I don't know him and I can't second-guess anything, but what I'm saying it might not be possible/easy to continue your affair with best friend if your boyfriend reacts badly. I'm sorry I can't be more helpful, but I'm afraid I feel you've made your bed and you need to lie in it. Be honest with him, and brave the consequences. The worst thing you could do is continue as you are, keep up the pretence. I know telling him will be hard, but you can do it tactfully. Be straight with him; don't try and defend yourself too much (you need to admit you're wrong) or pretend otherwise. But you can explain as you did in your question - that since the two deaths you've grown close to Gary, and that you love him and you never intended to ...... etc.I wish you the very best of luck, please keep us updated. x
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (2 June 2011): You gotta think who is better for you? Who will always be there for you no matter what. It is possible to love 2 people at once but you gotta come clean. You may lose the both of them if you don't. You'll have to a good long think about who is better for you and who you truly want to be with. Then come clean. You got yourself in this mess and you will get yourself out of it. But if you leave it any longer it will go tits up and your boyfriend might find out from someone else. And trust me you don't want that.
Good luck and i hope everything works out for you
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