A
female
age
,
anonymous
writes:I have been married to a great man for 11 years, he is a little older than I. He retired from work about 2 years ago. Ever since he retired, he has been home all day everyday not doing much of anything at all, except watch tv. I don't think it's depression, it's just how he always has been. He just doesn't do anything anymore. I am still at my job and even when I'm off on the weekends i still love to go out and get out of the house. My husband doesn't want to go do anything and it's getting on my nerves him being around all the time. I mention to him maybe he should get a hobby or go meet new friends, and he declines. I want to see him happy and getting out more. He used to love to go fishing and bowling back a few years ago. I do not think its normal or healthy to sit at home all day everyday. His dear son and grandson are also concerned. How should I approach this situation? Thanks Reply to this Question
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female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (18 June 2015):
 Could your son maybe try and get him to come fishing on week-ends? NOT that I think it's your son's job, but maybe that will get him started on doing SOMETHING!
My dad was laid off work after 25 years, it took him 2 years to find a permanent job after that. Those two years... He SAT in his chair and whined. My mom tried all kind of things to get him up and out, but he just refused.
To be retired in not for everyone. My husband retired 2 1/2 years ago, but got a part time job to GET OUT OF the house as he wasn't really ready for retirement.
Retirement sound nice, but I think a lot of people (mainly men) don't like feeling "useless" in society. Hopefully he can find something to do.
Don't give up, but also don't cater to it.
A
female
reader, Ciar  +, writes (17 June 2015):
 You've already approached the situation and nothing has changed.
It's difficult to believe that anyone would choose to be a hermit or a recluse because those folks are always portrayed negatively. They're never used to sell products or services so we tend to assume that they must be unhappy and unhealthy and if not now they will be. It is entirely possible that your husband is having the time of his life. He doesn't have to go anywhere, he's not obliged to talk to people. He may just want the quiet life.
Why exactly is it you're so concerned? Is it for him or is he in your way or something? Does he create messes you're left to clean?
I will add that since he doesn't do anything, I suggest you not do too much for him. No cooking for him or doing his laundry, assuming you do any of that. Don't be spiteful about it, but just see it as you having fewer responsibilities.
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