Should I cut the abusive father of my child out of my life?

A female age 41-50, anonymous writes:

Hi , Im just looking for advice as to how i should deal with my ex boyfriend ? He is the father of my 6 year old child and we have been on and of for years now , He is a recovering addict and i have broke up with him twice since our daughter was born as he relapsed and didnt want him around our daughter or myself ! I provide a secure and loving enviroment for her and always protected her from his ways and never bad mouthed him to her or argued with him in front of her , I supported her financially on my own now for years with him making small contributions when he could but that was always an issue as he always had someone else to pay or buy , we decided to give our relationship another go last October as we were getting on really well and he was supportive when i had a death in my family , he seemed to be in a good place mentally , and maybe move in together if things were ok , this hasnt happened Thank god !!! as i dont want to mess up our daughters head, she is very close to my brother and father and see's them more as a daddy ,they are brillant with her and spend a lot of time with her , The last few months have being horrible , he hasnt come near me physically and cut himself of emotionally and constantly put me down my hair make-up cooking on so on , this led me to believe that he was cheating on me as he had a few girls ringing him from his NA meetings and they seemed over friendly he started to spend more time goin to meetings or working , he refused to go out with me on a night out and would constantly question and ring me when i was out with friends , he hasnt had much work on lately as he is self employed so ive had to support our daughter on my own for the last 3 months now , he told me about 5 weeks ago that he is no longer in love with me , and then rang me the next day to say he made a mistake , but after months of horrible selfish cold behaviour towards me i decided to end things myself with him as he was only dragging me down , this was 4 weeks ago now , but i have tried to keep things on a friendly note with him but thats not likely to happen he is ringin me up abusing me calling me a liar and a sneaky c**t about my where abouts he hasnt given me a penny for our daughter and i dont deserve abuse from this man considering she spent a week with his family on holiday and he didnt have any work on and still never bothered going down to see her !!! he has no interest in how she is or seeing her , I have just hung up the phone on him after getting more abuse and know i wont be taking his call's anymore as its to upseting taking abuse of someone who has done nothing for me our our child , im just wondering what would be the best way to deal with him now ? should i see a solicitor to try and get maintence ? should i continue to ignore him and let him come crawling back when he has calmed down ? I feel terrible it has to be so nasty as i hate it and still fear he will go back using drugs , I know i must sound like the biggest fool ever and i dont let anyone else in my life disrespect me so much but dont want this to get any nastier as he is still my daughters father , any advice will be great

View related questions: broke up, drugs, liar, my ex, on holiday

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A reader, anonymous, writes (12 August 2008):

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