A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Guys... this new year I’m going to cut off my mom from my life. I have written a question regarding our relationship before and things have been going downhill from there. She has been mean to me and my family all year long.I have a sister who is in her late 30s, me and others think she has OCPD. My mother has severe depression and I suffer from depression too. We have had problems since I can remember, the last one was after I posted a boduoir photo and she started calling my partner saying that I have done “sl*tty” things in the past which I haven’t. Then she told him that he should always keep an eye on me because I’m a cheater and a professional liar and I deceive everyone. (What was the point of that?).He started a huge argument when I came back home from college saying that I must have been at some other dude’s home and I couldn’t find a way to make him believe me. We broke up, I was crying and I had his social media open on my phone (so as he has mine) when I see this texts where he sends his friend the screenshots of what my sister was saying. All this texts telling him not to trust me and not to let me out of the house because when I was 15 I wrote my number in a public wall (I did it) and then she knew that I was going to turn out a sl*t (that part is not true) I was a kid just playing and she knows! Then he tells his friend that she called him for two hours to talk about me. I don’t know what she told him, but she has done this before, with several people including his mom, to destroy what they think of me completely. And she’s been around since I was born doing the meanest things u can imagine.I called my mom to ask her to talk to my sister (they are close) about this and she was totally upfront that my sister never gets a good reaction when they question her ways and that she fears her response so she will stay neutral. I told my mom that I don’t like her being neutral about someone that is disloyal to her own family. My mom said that my sister’s husband is borrowing her the money for a cosmetic surgery she will be getting which she can’t afford (weird because they don’t even talk?) I think she said it to make me feel like my partner should be doing things for her. What happened next is that she called me and said: “listen I am in big trouble with your sister because of You! Exactly what I was afraid of just happened. I won’t get into details but now I have to pay the price for *your vulgar mistakes*.you know that kinds of things drive her mad and she’s a control freak so there you have it. Now I won’t get the money and you can’t give me that” She fake cried and all. Fast forward a days later I get sick, my mom said that she has nothing at her house because she has no money and she is “surviving”... she can’t help with my kids because she has a “diligence”. I still went to her house and I find that the diligence was tea party with my sister and her kid (a long trip to her house which is not cheap). I was shook because she made a big drama about them “*forever breaking their bond because of me” but she can’t tell me that they are back together and fine? After this I asked her to borrow me some money so I can go to the doctor because I was still very sick and she said that she has nothing in the bank. I felt so bad for even asking.The same day later my partner saw her buying a ton of presents and makeup and sunglasses.Then she got her surgery and she never told me where I could visit her and she has pushed me out of all situations of her life... everything is secret, she changes the subject when I ask her anything. She got the surgery on christmas so she doesn’t see me because I called her and she was like “I can’t get visitors here” then I find out by calling that she is at home but 5 minutes ago she just said that she can’t get visitors! I was shook again! What kind of attitude is this? We haven’t talked since before christmas. Can someone explain what do you think is going through her mind? Do you think it is wrong that I just stopped calling because I feel that she just disrespects me and lies all the time and I have no time for this negativity when I am recovering from my depression. All she thinks is about her stuff, and she doesn’t let me into her life.Thank you so much from my heart for taking your time.....blessings to you and your family !
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broke up, cheap, christmas, liar, money, text Reply to this Question
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (31 December 2018): Thank you all for your thoughts, I really appreciate every single one of your comments.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (30 December 2018): She sounds like a narcissist! Look up parents with narcissistic personality disorder. Take care of YOU.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (30 December 2018): I think you need to go it alone from your family now, in a positive way though. Send a nice card maybe with well wishes for the new year but have no physical contact or facebook etc...dysfunctional family...will never work out.
Please just try and build a new life for yourself.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie  +, writes (30 December 2018):
 First off,
BLOCK both your sister and mother from your Facebook and do NOT give them the phone numbers of your BF. You know they like to stir of drama and YOU let them. Not sure why.
You mom has a clear favorite and that is your sister. Probably because they BOTH enjoy the drama and discourse they create.
Should you cut her off? That depends. DO you get ANYTHING positive out of interacting with her? Does your kids? Same with your sister.
If you don't, then cut them off. You would be wasting your time and energy trying to explain how they make you feel, because frankly, they don't seem to care.
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A
female
reader, janniepeg  +, writes (30 December 2018):
 I think you should cut your mom off. It takes a lot of courage to do it but years of demeaning should fuel your motivation to change your life for the better. Meaning cut out negative influences that stop you from healing from depression. She "loves" you the only way she knows how. To prevent you from turning into a slut and to advice you to get rich boyfriend so you are set for life. If that's the best motherly advice she could give you, then you don't need her. She has all the time to look good in front of her social cycle that she has no room for love, and to listen carefully to what you say.
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