A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:I have been with my man for over a year now and we live together. He says I am beautiful but is always commenting how beautiful other women on TV are. He has even commented how beautiful his ex is. He knows this all hurts me because I have low self esteem. I am a brunette and he always comments on blondes. I don't feel special to him at all.I have asked him over and over to stop this because it really matters to me.He tells me oriental women are the most beautiful on the planet. I am not oriental, how do you think this makes me feel!I don't know if I can spend the rest of my life with his as he says he wants to. I am 41 and he is 45.Do you think I should cut my losses and leave? I don't know if I can live with this behaviour. Oh, and he is forever ogling skinny young girls! :-(
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female
reader, So_Very_Confused  +, writes (5 April 2011):
 I know I'm late answering this but I wanted to tell you I'm in a similar boat only I just laugh it off.
IF what he does makes you feel bad then you should leave.
My BF is younger than I am by over 13 years. He always looks at young tight firm Asian women. He also prefers light eyes and dark straight hair. I have brown eyes and curly red hair. I have lost a great deal of weight and require plastic surgery to remove the excess skin. It's not attractive at all to me or to him at this point.
He comments on pretty girls when I'm with him or even when we are on the phone and he sees them. WE ere in an long distance relationship so I'm not even with him full time.
I talked to him about it and told him it makes me feel old and ugly and that he doesnt' want me... he's just settling for me... and he got very sad and upset... He told me he was with me because he wanted to be with me and that these women were just fantasy for him.
Now granted he and I started out as FWB/NSA and he was very very very clear with me that I was NOT attractive to him physically that I was NOT his type... (and that was fair as he's not my physical preference for a partner either).... but what happened with us was as our connection grew (our brains have always meshed well that's what started this whole thing)... our physical attraction to each other grew...
I used to look at him and think GEEK boy... now I look at him and get that warm feeling in my belly... and he who used to tell me I was not his type now tellsl me I am the most beautiful woman in the world and how lucky he is to have me.
Yes he still has fantasy time about young hot Asian women... but they are not with him and I am. And it no lonber makes me feel bad that he does it.
A
female
reader, YouWish +, writes (22 March 2011):
 Forgive me...the guy sounds like a moron. He is with a beautiful woman now, yet he is so ate up with porn that he doesn't appreciate you.
If you've talked to him about this and he still continues to show you extreme disrespect by ogling girls and talking about his ex like that, he will not change.
I wouldn't live with his behavior. There are other guys out there who aren't so incredibly stupid.
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