A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:What do you think about this ?. I recently started meeting up with a much older man ( he's 23 years older than me ) . I cant exactly say that we are dating yet, as we have only met up a few times for a drink. Recently, some of his friends, who are also a lot older than me, saw me out with him, and they said they thought i was a really good looking girl, and one of them kept winking at me !. Why do you think one of them kept winking at me, and what do you think about them saying i was good looking ?. i actually recognised his friend who kept winking at me, as i had seen him in a bar a couple of months ago, and he was looking at me then, and when i went to the ladies room, his friend asked my male friend if he was my boyfriend. That was before i met this other older man who is his friend, by the way.One of his other friends tried to chat me up when the man i have been meeting up with went outside for a smoke, and we were stood on our own. he asked me to give him my phone number, in case it didnt work out with the guy i have been meeting up with, but i didnt. also, the hours at this man's job have been cut down, so he doesn't have much money, therefore, he cant go out very much, and he said that he doesnt want me to spend my money on us both sometimes when we go out, so he has asked me if i'd like to go to his apartment. he said he wouldn't try to do anything though ( meaning sexual things ). i think he said that because he knows i am a shy person. what he doesnt know is that i'm a virgin, so i feel funny about going to his place, but i guess i would have to if i want to see him.
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male
reader, soon567  +, writes (25 March 2011):
Here's what I think sweetie. Those old men that is winking at you is actually flirting and getting a vibe that you like it. You need to put a stop to it unless you want it. If your at my house and flirting with other men I would think you're a potential cheater or you would have at least mention it to me.All relationship need rules and guide lines to go by, You two need to talk. If you just seeing him and haven't started dating why would you think sex is around the corner. He has more problem with getting his job situation clear up than hoping to get laid. You need to be upfront and honest. If this is just going to be a fling than let it be a fling and yes those have rules too.Say what you mean and mean what you say. I would've been offended if he ask me for a number as he did you. When you don’t say no when no is needed than you're inviting more of the same.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (22 March 2011): Thanks for your reply . Yeah i do feel that its too early to go to his place.i wish he wouldnt keep asking me. What do you think of what his friends did ?
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A
female
reader, YouWish +, writes (22 March 2011):
 You're of age, and he is of age. Don't let the age difference be a factor in what you would do. It sounds like you're feeling like it's a bit too early in the relationship to go back to his place, right?
I kind of agree. There are plenty of things to do that cost little or nothing. Walks in the park, trips to the museum. $5 and an hour or so at a coffee shop. Going to the zoo and getting a hot pretzel. Going bike riding together. I've just scratched the surface.
It's okay to not be comfortable. Just tell him that. Being at someone's house is a step of intimacy whether or not something happens. You don't know him that well, so I say keep things going slow!
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