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Should I cut my losses and just deal with the heartache?

Tagged as: Dating, Sex, Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (2 July 2008) 2 Answers - (Newest, 2 July 2008)
A female United Kingdom age 36-40, anonymous writes:

I've been going out with my boyfriend for about 6 months now and I'm not sure what to do. We haven't had sex in over a month - he says he's not interested in that kind of thing. I only see him once a week as he says he simply doesn't have any more time to spend with me. I love him with all my heart and soul but he says that if he were to say he loved me he would be lying. He says he definetly wants to be in a relationship with me but feels I'm not his number 1 priority though he thinks I should be. After his last relationship he was very hurt and had to rekindle friendships he had neglected with his friends. He said that he is scared this will happen again with me - I said I'm not his old girlfriend. He's 26 but has had a stroke do to a copius amount of drugs he took when his last relationship ended. When he was really depressed he said he was impotent for about a year though this isn't really relevant because he doesn't seem to have any physical inability that would stop us from being able to have sex. I'm just not sure what to do...every time I see him my tummy jumps and I feel truely happy but I'm just not sure that there is anywhere for our relationship to go. Should I just cut my losses and deal with the heartache?

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (2 July 2008):

OMG, you poor thing. Please, please, tell me you will run, NOW. This man needs some serious counseling, he is unable to care for himself yet alone you! You will only end up be hurt more and more, cut your losses and look elsewhere. Six months from now you will feel so much better, perhaps even be in love with someone who loves you back and he will still be pitifull. If you stay with him, six months from now, you will be even more messed up until eventually you will be as messed up as he is. I am sorry, I wish I had better news.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (2 July 2008):

Yes, it is really time to leave. This guy has too many issues, and as much as you would like to be the one to help him, or save him, or be the angel who shows him life and women are still worthwhile, you can't, and all that will happen is that you will destroy yourself trying.

He's told you that he isn't in love with you, he spends very little time with you and shows no sign of trying to make it work. The signs are all there, so make the break for your own good.

You are nothing more than a safety net so he doesn't have to face being alone and you deserve better than being treated like someones back up plan or a weekly duty call.

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