A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I'm in this really complicated situation with a long term friend of mine. Me and this guy have been very close friends and at one point things escalated. We got involved with each other even though he had a girlfriend. We have been involved for a little over a year and he has a girlfriend still. I moved out of state and we kept in frequent contact in the beginning but then he got too "busy" to talk to me often. I will be returning home soon for a vacation and he has kept in contact a lot more often than usual. I believe it may be because I am returning soon. He says he misses me a lot and that he still loves me. I need some insight and advice. Why would he be talking to me more often all of a sudden, saying that he misses me and loves me? He has been with his girlfriend for almost a year.What might his reaction be if I cut communication with him? If I told him I no longer felt that he was a good friend and didn't want to talk to him anymore would he just accept it or fight back?Should I keep talking to him of discontinue this messy relationship?Advice and insight is very appreciated, thanks!
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female
reader, Abella +, writes (5 November 2011):
 he senses an opportunity. When you moved away you were 'out of range' for him to bother much, hence his 'too busy' signals. Because using his reasoning, he no longer had to talk to you and tell you sweet lies, because now that you were so far away there was NOTHING in it for him.Men can be selfish when the woman is not a relationship to him, but is instead a dalliance on the side.After all, he has a girlfriend.But you are coming back for a visit.To him this is an OPPORTUNITY for HIM.So his reasoning is that he had better instigate the 'set-up' first. Which entails re-starting the sweet talk. Making you think he cares. He's got the time, because men can also be vain. He thinks you still pine for his attention. And with a little priming with some sweet words should smooth the way for him to temporarily re-start the dalliance while you are visiting.He has it all worked out.In other words he thinks his task will be EASY with you.He has a girlfriend. Most certainly ruin his little scheme. Because once you return finish this visit he will be back to 'too busy' again.Enjoy your visit. And ignore him. He has nothing to offer you.Yes, discontinue contact.Due to his past behavior I think he thinks he can get away with a short term little fling on the side without his girl friend noticing.Of course things may have deteriorated between he and his girlfriend. Who knows? You may not be his only girlfriend on the side. But i don't think so.Arrive at your vacation. Look stunning. Enjoy meeting up with old friends. you can do betterBest wishes
A
female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (5 November 2011):
 Obviously he has heard that you are coming back in to town again, so he is contacting you more and telling you these things because he wants to get with you again without the commitment. He has a girlfriend who he has no intentions of breaking up with, and he just wants to see you for sex. Sorry for being so brutal but I am here to tell you the truth. I bet if you said to him that you would get with him if he broke up with his girlfriend that he would not be prepared to do this. He is just trying his luck. I think the best thing to do is to cut contact with him and move on with your life. He is in a relationship so therefore move on and forget about him as he is a player.
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