A
female
 ,
anonymous
writes:Ok, I have been to this site before for advice and go some really good answers, so I am back!I have been seeing my bf for about 18 months now. When we first started out he was so into the realtionship. He bought me flowers, send random cards saying he loved me and generally we got on really well. The past 6 months have been difficult for me though. He doesn't send cards, flowers or isn't romantic anymore. When we first met he was up for doing anything, he wanted to go on days out and holidays. Now I feel like I am nagging him to come on holiday with me this year. he just doesn't seem to have that enthusiasm that he had when we first met.It may be because he feels he is comfy in the relationship as I had this with my ex and when I finished him he sprug back to life again and wanted things to go back to the start but I had already moved on.I am a little paranoid too, I find he is secretive with his Facebook, also he is cabin crew and they have a bad reputation for cheating! I feel that I question everything he does, he denys he has ever cheated on me, and recently told me when I move to uni this year he wants to be with me throughout it. He wouldn't say that if he wasn't serious right? Have you got any advice for my paranoia? I don't have any hard eveidence on anything I just find it hard to convince myself recently about things.I have recently had a termination of pregnancy about 2 weeks ago. This hasn't effected us in any way, we both wanted to go ahead with the termination. He was supportive and came to the appointment when I had it. He sent me texts saying he will stick by me and be there for me whilst I have it.I am just being paranoid? I have tried to talk to him about trying to get things back to the way they were, he says things will go back eventually, but there doesn't seem to be much change. Do you think I should cool off for a while and not make an effort and see if he prevails? Thank you for any advice.
View related questions:
cheated on me, facebook, flowers, my ex, on holiday, text Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (30 May 2008): I have been dating with man. all of them whom i am dating they just left without saying anything. the second last one he just work away, and he does not even want to answer his phone.Currently I am dating with a divorce man but still is the same. what can i do, is there is something wrong with me or what. please help I am confused.
Since I am starting dating with a man I did not have a long last relationships.
A
female
reader, Deema +, writes (21 May 2008):
 No I don't think you're being paranoid or stupid. I think there is something going on here that you don't feel happy or comfortable with for whatever reason, and sometimes we just get these feelings when something isn't right. Time always shows us whats going on, so if you can, take a break, have your holiday - got with friends even and clear your head. Have some fun. Its great going with friends for a change, then you can assess how YOU really feel instead of looking to him to give you the answers. It would also make him sit up and pay attention when you went away - sometimes men need that kick up the backside to pull them out of their complacency. I know its tough when a man does this. Its very confusing. But unfortunately it always does happen in any relationship. They become very sure of you, feel they don't have to make so much effort. Thats why I say - go away, if only for a weekend. He will start to see you in a different light. Also read'The Rules'. Its a very good and easy to read book about relationships. Good luck hun.
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (20 May 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionIts not the termination that is bothering me. I know your right about my emotions but call me heartless, my head and my heart agreed now wasn't the time. Plus I was on the pill and very good at taking it. The conclusion was I was one of the unlucky 1% of women a year that manage to fall pregnant whilst on the pill! He said recently though that if I wanted to keep it he would stand by me.
I am just being paranoid and stupid?
...............................
A
female
reader, Deema +, writes (20 May 2008):
Oh Hun, I really feel fo ryou. I think you got a lot going on here. First of all, and the most important thing here I feel, you just had a termination - thats a biggie!!!! Your hormones will be all over the place, along with your emotions and your heart. Nothing will be straightforward at this time, and you need to understand that first and foremost. And he needs to understand that to and be supportive of it. Its all very well he came to the appointment, but the effects are far greater and far reaching than that. I think yuou're looking into things more because you're looking to him for that extra hug you need, that reassurance you need that he really does love you, and that is NORMAL in the circumstances. If he's not giving you what you need then you need to ask for it. You are very vulnerable right now. Anything and everything is going to upset you. Would you really have liked him to say keep the baby? Is that making you feel more insecure? Has the fact of you getting pregnant beeen a reality check to him - yes mate that IS what happens when a man and woman make love - has it scared him? Has he been faced with a responsbility he thought he was ready for but found he's not? I think you need first to understand your vulnerability. Second I think you need to have a very good chat with him about what you need, and also see exactly what it is he needs - good or bad. Good luck hun. Take care x
...............................
|
