A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Hi i need good advice im having problems in my relationship with my boyfriend or whatever he is now i have been with him on and off for about 12 years and i have a 4 year old child with him but for the last couple years its gotten out of hand not long ago he asked me to marry him but we have many problems we jst came back from a trip and ever since that trip its jst gotten worse and worse his always calling me a stupid or putting me phy. Or mentally down he could never say anything nice and his told me he doesnt want to be with me but with in ours or the next day he tells me he does want to be with me he was jst mad i dnt knw what to do he doesnt want to spend time with us and hr always has plans during the weekends with his friends never involves us im so sad he hides his phone or turns it off or on silent i dont want to let him go but i also dont want to be second in anyones life what should i do i gaven it all i have should i jst give up please i need good advice Reply to this Question
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male
reader, Kenj  +, writes (8 March 2010):
 If he truly loved you he wouldnt be putting you down all the time.
Sure you may have the odd disagreement, but it should not be a constant happening.
A strong relationship should be able to overcome any argument and both partners would love each other for who they are and give each other support each other no matter what.
I would have thought after 12 years you would know for sure if you truly loved him and he should know for sure if he truly loved you. Its taken him 12 years to ask you to marry him, why?
If your not getting along as girlfriend and boyfriend then its very unlikley a marrige would last.
The main priority here should be your son, how does he interact with his dad? How does his dad treat him?
A
male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (6 March 2010):
I'm always sceptical of relationships that are on/off all the time. It means that rather than face problems, people are just running away. I'm even more sceptical of relationships where one person is constantly insult the other. And then your boyfriend is turning his phone off and going out with friends all the time. The truth is, he is not the one. If he was, you wouldn't be treated this way. I know you don't want to let him go, but at the same time you don't really have him anyway. It's always on/off, it's always him insulting you and it's getting worse, and he's always out doing his own thing. Take a brave step and move on from him.
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