A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:This girl I have been hanging out with has had a boyfriend for the past few months. She has been hanging out with many guys, only which she slept with one, and she was heavily intoxicated and doesn't remember much. We've gotten to know each other pretty well and she says she will leave her boyfriend as soon as he returns from a long term business assignment in Europe, then date me afterward. Recently we have had sex and have slept in the same bed several times but haven't really dated. She also keeps avoiding breaking up with her guy until he comes back. She just keeps coming back to me to cuddle or hang out.Should I continue to pursue something with her? I feel she is worth it but am still skeptical about her cheating since she has with me... and I still think she has feelings for her man now since she is taking her time with it. I honestly think I am falling in love with this girl. Is she just seeing her options and leading me on? Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (15 March 2008): It's a hard pill to swallow, but I think that maybe this girl is leading you on. Also, she may not have been entirely forthcoming about her sexual past...just a thought there, maybe not.
I recently went through something similar and when they finally broke it off with their other, the magic of the relationship was gone..like it was only exciting because it was wrong.
It still maybe be salvageable, however you need to deliver your ultimatum about her boyfriend. She needs to break it off if you two are going to become anything besides friends with benefits.
As for the cheating, generally, if she'll cheat once, she'll probably cheat again. But then again, I don't know her...Does she seem to feel guilty about her dishonest relationship? That's a big one. If she feels that her current relationship is definitely over, and that makes it okay, then you can probably bet that she will cheat again. It just means that when she meets someone who she thinks she connects better with than you, she will think it is okay again.
I'm sorry if anything I say is too harsh, I've just been where you are right now. I'm sorry. Good luck.
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