A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hie! I am 22yrs and i have a cousin sister who is 24yrs who had been living wth HIV/AIDS 4 a year now but we are keeping it a secret me and her that even her own mother doesnt now. A year ago wen she told me that she was HIV positive after she went 4 a test, i promised not 2 tell any1 and until 2day i didnt broke my promise. We stay in differen city from home were we are both working and tho in diffent surbubs. She stay with her younger sister who is also 22yrs.Since she told me i had been by her side,going wth her 2 doctors appointments, make sure she takes her medication, encouraging her 2 live positive and make her see that God's love 4 her never change coz of her status.Generally she is doing good, she take medication,go 2 gym ,she loves her job,look healthier even more than i do and she is not been doing any sexual activities since the time she broke up with th guy who infected her last year.I love her and i wish things were different coz she is still young and had a whole big life ahead of her and i am there 4 her nomatter her status.I need yo help if i am doing the right thing helping her keeping it a secret 2 the whole family even her mother or must i talk 2 her so that she can share with them 2? Coz i know its not gona be easy 4 the family 2 accept that, u know with African families.And pple are going 2 judge her thinking she was a prostitute but it was jus a 1 big mistake she did sleeping with her then BF without protection...Pliz help
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female
reader, So_Very_Confused  +, writes (30 December 2011):
 Your situation is difficult. Your cousin needs to be the one to tell her family. I don't know if the FAMILY will judge her and to be honest it does not have to be broadcast around the neighborhood but the people she lives with should know... maybe you can go be with her and hold her hand while she tells them.
My brother in law is HIV positive. He has been since before he met my brother. They have lived together for nearly 12 years and been married for three... my brother is HIV NEGATIVE even to this day... and MY BIL while on disability lives a good life and is healthy.. he eats well, exercises, takes his meds and rests when needed. He's been HIV positive for about 20 years I think...
A
female
reader, cmarieky +, writes (30 December 2011):
I agree with the poster below me, if anyone or everyone else must know then let her your cousin be the one to tell them. All she needs from you is support and honesty. It will be okay for her. There are medication today that can keep HIV from advancing to AIDS for 20 years at least. So long as she takes care of herself. HIV will not be the end of her life but the start of a new one.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (30 December 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionTo Anonymous- i am sorry to hear about your brother and thank you for the advice i, thought maybe i am the only one in a case like this and you have been there you truly know how its likes, makes it a bit better and hope for the best.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (30 December 2011): hi, its really a sad situation. i had a similar situation with my brother, who has since died. i think you should not tell them as it will not help matters, but just make her miserable, especially with all the stigma. there is no need, because she is already taking measures to improve her health and live positively. what she needs is support, and shez got that from you. letting everybody know will only depress her cos they arent gonna do anything but gossip. if everybody has to know, let her be the one to tell them, not you. in my case, my bro confided in me and was not taking care of himself, he wasnt taking medication, drinking too much and sleeping around. i told my parents about it, so that we help him. unfortunately we tried all we could, but he did not want to live, so he died cos of drinking beer too much and refusing treatment.
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