A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:My ex and I broke up alittle over a month ago. I miss him alot and I still love him and he tells me the same. He says he wants to get back together...but things got to change between us first..I have to accept his friends..which I now do. And I have to give him his space which I am trying hard to do. So things have been looking up for us. He is confusing sometimes he says he wants us to be together but it can't happen because I hurt him. I already apologized and he accepted my apology. I also let go of all the anger I had towards him because of the stress he caused me. Sometimes he makes me feel like it will. I was with him for almost two years. He is my first love and I have a lot of hope for us.My question is should I continue to hope that we will get back together? Or should I let go? When we were together even thought we had a dissagreements I wanted to spend the rest of my life with him. So this separation has been very hard.
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male
reader, softtouchmale2003 +, writes (6 September 2009):
 I know how very hard it is for you emotionally.
Love involves a great deal of patience and attention, unfortunately they don't always intersect at the same points in a relationship.
He is having problems dealing with your insecurities and also, dealing with his other pressures whatever they may be.
Obviously he has a social life outside of your relationship and so there was some kind of disagreement going on there about what he was up to.
Since there's few details here, whatever it is you say you did, hurt him. And apparently he is willing to accept that you didn't mean to do that.
One of the things you need to do is find out what he needs you to do for him, assuming you both stayed together, it terms of "space" and also in terms of what you need him to do for you so that you feel secure in your love with him.
This means defining a lot of specific issues so the two of you can work it out.
It sounds, based on what your saying, that he dues love you and is probably in love with you. And I can see you're in love with him.
Because of that, this separation that you're going through is extremely painful. I can see it in your question.
I think the best course of action is to give him some space. Give him some time away from you. He needs to actually miss you more than "need his space" before he decides to come back.
But if he does, you two must, and this is important, must try and fix whatever issues were there. Otherwise you are both going to continue to condone whatever it is that you were doing to each other that led to the separation.
I feel for you and its very hard for people to go through life feeling this kind of emptiness and anxiety when there's a separation or a break-up. If you can try and endure this, just try for the best outcome, then waiting a bit more for him to miss you will pay off big for both of you.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (6 September 2009): Sort things out between you and get back together you clearly both love each other and that is what matters.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (6 September 2009): i think that you should still hope and chase after him.beccuz me and my boyfriend have been dating for over a year.and even though he gets on my nerves i wanna have a life with him.and just let him know that nobodys perfect.Go Get HIm!
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