A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I am having problems reading this girlShe was visiting my town for 4 weeks by some relatives.When we met we were attracted to each other the first week, we went on a moonlight walk and kissed. She doesn't own a phone but she used one of the relatives phone for the summer she was visiting. we texted and called each other every single day, I visited her often. We often expressed to each other how we like one another alot. Then sometime during the third week, we talked about "us" being together and she said we can't.I asked her why she explained that her sister who she lives with doesn't want her to be in any relationship soon (in the next year and a half) since she's in an important stage of school. she said that's why she doesn't have a phone because her sister got so angry about her last relationship that she broke her phone. I told her I was disappointed to hear that.So as you would expect I was disappointed to hear that. This would have been my first real serious relationship and first gf. It broke my heart to hear this but we continued talking, she seemed a bit casual about the whole situation, I thought to myself that maybe she is trying to be tough and hide her emotions.After the month had gone she went back home. we facebook each other and chat about once or twice a week now. On facebook she still calls me boo and babe (which is hard to wrap my head around since we are not together and cant be together--at least not anytime soon). I sometimes just call her babe and boo back to make it look even i guess. The whole problem with all of this for me is that since she told me that we can't be together it has just been so hard to come to terms with (it's like when one of your close friends die and you still can't believe it). And because of this i have been losing my romantic and flirty touch with her (it's as if my brain just tells me we can't be together so what's the point of flirting and calling each other boo). I just don't know how to move forward from this point. I do not want to slide/drift into the friend zone with her--I'm attracted to her too much. I can't wait two years til her older sister allows her to have a bf under her roof- that's an incredibly long time. And I am not your typical "shallow" guy who doesn't mind having a girl who isn' quite his gf but he can still have sex and kisses out of her. i am more of a deep guy who wants a girl to have and hold and cherish. Plus I still clearly love this girl.So how do I play this one should I continue flirting with her while having a broken heart from knowing we can't be together?
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female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (9 November 2011):
 It's long distance
you can't be open about the relationship and you were not together all that long.
I strongly think that friends is the way to go...
Relationships are hard
relationships without family support are harder
LDRs are HARDER than anything but in your case I think that it's going to be impossible...
I flirt for fun. sounds like that's what this girl does... it's just fun to her... you can flirt back but don't put all your eggs in one basket so to speak... just be facebook flirty friends...
A
female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (9 November 2011):
 You only met this girl for a month, it is more like a holiday romance more than her breaking your heart. You cannot love someone you barely know that well. If you cannot accept being friends with her well then stop all communication with her and move on with your life. Am sure she is not moping around feeling sorry for herself because she is not as emotional as you as she knows where her life is and where it is leading. She has accepted that she cannot date you and she flirts with you for the fun off it. You need to be stronger when it comes to woman in the future.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (9 November 2011): I say stop reciprocating the Boo and Babe Talk. She clearly defined you cannot be together.
Also, what the heck is going on with the Sister and breaking a phone because she's dating? That sounds unhealthy and the story to me, on my side of the border sounds like a heap of moose crap.
Either way, you live apart, in different cities and the clear boundary you are not a COUPLE has been set in stone.
Time to move on.
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