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Should I contact him? Or are we over for good?

Tagged as: Breaking up, Dating, The ex-factor, Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (22 December 2010) 1 Answers - (Newest, 23 December 2010)
A female United States age 30-35, *ittlepinkdogs writes:

My boyfriend broke up with me about a month ago. Our relationship, which sprouted from a friendship lasted almost two years. He was my best friend.

When he broke up with me, it was out of the blue. Our relationship was perfectly fine. But I accepted it.

My mind was racing day after day of what possibly could have made him finally call it quits with me. We avoided each other from then on (we go to the same school). I couldn't take us acting as strangers, so I arranged to meet him up to talk about this.

He told me that he doesn't want to be in a relationship at all. He told me that it wasn't anyone else; he just wanted to be alone.

This is the part where I messed up: I asked him if he could give me another chance. He declined. He just wants to stay friends. I didn't tell him we could, but I told him just send me a call or a text anytime he needs me. We then parted ways. I felt so embarrassed.

After that day, I vowed not to contact him at all for two weeks at the most. He broke my vow by sending me a text message that I answered because I thought he was in need. Instead, he was telling me about what he was doing with his friends. From then on, I got a couple of random texts like "what's the name of that song?", etc. etc. I ignored one of them.

A couple of days ago he called me to ask me what the name of a website was. I know that he CALLED me instead of texting because I ignored his last text message and he knows that I'll answer phone calls. But when I talked to him on the phone, he asked me about my work, and how I was and sounded over all really friendly. It confused me.

The last time I saw him in the hallways at school, he made sure he said hi to me quite frequently. This confused me as well.

It's been a month, and I've kind of already found someone to take his place, but I strongly want my ex boyfriend back. I'm still in love with him. I heard through the grapevine that he has a new girl already, but I don't know if its true.

Should I contact him? Are we over for good? What steps should I take to get him back? Should I move on?

I know I messed up by breaking the no contact, but I haven't contacted him at all, he's contacted me. What should I do?

Someone pleeeease help me, every day and every decision I make feels like an obstacle.

View related questions: best friend, broke up, move on, my ex, text

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A male reader, LovelessAct1 United States +, writes (23 December 2010):

I know how much your heart must be aching to get him back, but if he doesn't want it to happen it never will. Whatever it was that changed his mind, I'm sorry to say its over. You already heard he might have a new girl interest and you have put someone in his place as well.

But that doesn't mean you can't tell him how you feel. If you really want to, you can ask to meet with him and talk about your relationship and find out the real reason he ended things. Do so, though, at your own risk; you may not like what you hear. I'd advise moving on, but if you want closure, you may need to contact him one last time.

Best of luck.

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