A
female
age
36-40,
*endersmile
writes:I have a friend we have been really best buddies since 5 years and started to like me but i dont have feelings for him, he proposed me n i became mad and ended our friendship, after a year i contacted him because i was really falling apart due to my loneliness and i felt guilty for how i mistreated him and he still is stuck at the point that he loves me and wants to marry me and i dont know if marrying your best friend, even though u dont love him is a good idea or not. i know that i clearly dont feel anything about him, and he previously had a love obsession about me which kind of irritated me, I am not desperate but I just want to know whether it will be a good idea to give him a second chance...while i am still not over with my last unsuccessful love story...should i give this relationship a go...
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female
reader, llifton  +, writes (21 October 2013):
 Both must be on the same page when agreeing to marry; whether it be for economic purposes or love. He is wanting to marry you out of love. And since you don't love him back like that, it would be unfair to both of you in the long run because you would feel like something huge was missing in your marriage and he would be missing out on someone who truly was in love with him. It would just make for a horrible dynamic in your relationship and ultimately lead to both of you being in misery in the long run.
You need to reinforce to him that you do not love him in a romantic way and you never will. That you love him very much as a friend, but that is all. And therefore you will not marry him. he needs to get this through his head and stop pursuing you or you will not be in his life once again until he can get it under control.
Good luck.
A
female
reader, Denise32 +, writes (21 October 2013):
 I think CMMP has given you a good answer.
I have one thought to add: Pakistan is, for the most part, a Muslim country. Marriages are most often (as I understand) either arranged by parents, or there are, I think Muslim marriage sites where you can look at profiles and photos, but not date (or if you DO arrange to meet a man then there would have to be a chaperone present on your date).
If you CAN date him, then I'd do that first, but don't let yourself get into sex with him, and don't allow him to pressure you to get married! If he does pressure you or you feel uncomfortable in any way, then trust your instincts and don't marry him!
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A
male
reader, CMMP +, writes (21 October 2013):
Why don't you do the sensible thing and date him first? Why marry him, find out you can't ever feel anything for him then leave him or cheat?
Just test the waters. You may not feel anything now, but over a relatively short period of time that may change. If it doesn't, don't marry him.
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