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female
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anonymous
writes: Dear Agony aunt, I'm 22 and I have just broken up with my boyfriend about 3 weeks ago. We were together a year and a half and also lived together. he still contacts me but says he can't be with me. I have just found out he has been sleeping with many girls behind my back for the entire relationship. We went to a festival together and he went a night earlier and slept with someone in our tent. He doesn't know that I know all this information but I don't know whether to confront him or not? Is it worth it now. I'm so angry and he always manages to turn things around. He says thought the whole relationship I was a bully and controlling, but I'm really not that like that. When we were together he never said anything and now weeks later he chooses to tell me where I went wrong. I don't understand what I have done to deserve this. I thought he loved me but all this time its was a lie. So should I confront him?Thanks for any help! xx Reply to this Question
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reader, Rebecca Batchelor +, writes (23 January 2006):
 The reason why he never said before about anything you may have done wrong is because you probably didn't do anything wrong and now he feels very guilty (which he should do, obviously) and that is why he is simply shifting the blame to you.
Many would say that this man is not worth speaking a single word to ever again because he is the lowest of the low for being such a deceitful, cheating b*****d. Many would also say that eventually (unless he manages to grow up and stop using women) he will end up on his own unless there is some cheap tart who would like to keep him company for a short while!
I agree with all this but I can't help but think that you could do with closure and though this shouldn't really take the form of retribution (but if it helps, look up www.revengelady.com!) perhaps speaking your mind will help.
Tell him you know what a scumbag he is and that you are glad to move on from him. You haven't done anything to deserve what he's done but what you do deserve is being able to move on, count your blessings and finding someone new. Tell him what you think of him and despite what you feel, walk away with a smile on your face.
(And, for added effect, show him the part of your body that is your best. For example, if you have a curvy bottom, flash it at him as you walk away and say that that's the last time he will ever have the pleasure of seeing it!)
Good luck.
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