| A
female
,
anonymous
writes: My bf and I have been together for 3 months. We're incredibly happy together at the moment, and We've both come to terms with eachother's faults and learned to accept them as part of eachother's personality. For example, he has always been a major flirt with everybody, but has greatly improved over the time that i've known him. However, there's this one girl, Jenny, who he has a thing for and won't stop flirting with her right infront of my nose, it drives me nuts! She's going out with one of his mates. I'm quite a laid back person when it comes to relationships but even i have a limit, and he's crossed it. He's admitted to me that he thinks she's hot, as we often discuss hot girls (i'm bisexual). I was sitting right next to him whilst he was trying to throw stuff down her top, and he was constantly discussing his sex life and the size of his muscles and penis with her. I don't know whether to confront him about this, as it's only a problem when she's around and that's not very often. I love him to bits and everything is fantastic apart from this one thing, and I worry about our arguments as i hate feeling insecure in a relationship. We had an argument a week ago because of my behaviour, and everything was really heavy and we both ended up crying. I thought it was over but since we got things out in the open our relationship was 100 times better. Should I just let this go and continue with this relationship the way it is (perfect 99.9% of the time) or do i risk an argument that could make things better or worse?
View related questions:
flirt, insecure, muscle, sex life Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, stina  +, writes (13 September 2006):
 Oh, and I just saw that you wrote "We had an argument a week ago because of my behaviour..." Anonymous, you aren't the one with any behavior issues. Your boyfriend is the one who has problems behaving a good/loyal boyfriend should. You are *reacting* to his flirting with other girls. And you are right to feel the way you do. If he told you that you are the one with the problem, then he is sadly mistaken. Don't let him tell you this, he is not right. Please don't let it go - nothing was resolved if you you still feel uncomfortable and his actions are continuing. Okay?
A
male
reader, Lostandalone +, writes (13 September 2006):
 I think you should bring this issue to the light. To me I think to ogle someone else or to flirt with someone else right in front of me is the biggest form of disrespect. I would call him on it and tell how I feel. A person can only do to you what you allow them to do. If you let it persist it will. Nip it in the bud now and don't worry about it. You will feel better knowing that you did. Good Luck.
...............................
A
female
reader, stina +, writes (13 September 2006):
Hey Anonymous,
Your boyfriend has an exclusive relationship with you and therefore should not be throwing things down this girls shirt, let alone discuss his penis size with her. That is extremely disrespectful to you, moreso that you are right there when it happens! He should know better than that and is lucky to have someone as leniant as you.
I say you should definitly confront him. Just because he thinks this girl is hot doesn't mean he should act on his feelings at all. One, because he's with you (obviously), but also because this is his friend's girlfriend! That's a big no-no. He should know that, too.
When you talk to him, don't get all aggressive and angry. Just calmly tell him that you don't appreciate it and it's making you uncomfortable. Tell him any other feelings that you have when he is doing this. But rememeber, try to have a discussion and not a lecture. You want to have always be able to have open communication with him and by getting angry he might not want to tell you certain things.
If he does not ease up with it, then the next time they are flirting, I say butt in. Hang all over him infront of this girl and *you* flirt with him. This will definitly let her know he is yours. You will most likely make him feel like he's got a really confident girl (aka - what this other girl will probably interpret as a bitch), but you know what? You have to have confidence in this sort of situation. And, he would probably like it - who wouldn't want all kinds of attention from a partner like that? Plus it would most likely put that other girl in her place. (BTW - Where the heck is her boyfriend during all of this??)
So have a truly meaningful discussion about it and *you* flirt with him when you guys go out. Take care.
...............................
A
male
reader, Abacadaba  +, writes (13 September 2006):
 i would ask him about it, if its bothering you its better he knows, alot of gusys are a big flirt, as are alot of girls, even when they are in a relationship and thier partner is around. Theres no point in keeping it a secret if it botheres you so much, if he knows it bothers you, he will stop. Good luck :)
...............................
|
