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female
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*-xbabycakesx-x
writes: hiya right im wondering if you can help me... me and my boyfriend are going through a rough patch at the moment he is very inconsiderate towards me and feels that i am telling him what to do (which in ways i am but only to keep him out of trouble) i have tried talking to him but it always seems to be my fault he tends to snap at me too please help i just have no idea what to do. Reply to this Question
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reader, x-xbabycakesx-x +, writes (19 September 2006):
x-xbabycakesx-x is verified as being by the original poster of the question thanku for all ur help! means a lotxxxx
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female
reader, stina  +, writes (13 September 2006):
 Hey Baby (lol),
You sound like a very caring and concerned girl. That's great that you want to help out your boyfriend and keep him out of trouble, but the problem with that is that he doesn't seem to think he needs any help.
Sometimes in situations like this, it's best to back off a bit and give the other person space. Once you voice your opinion and he lets you know it's unwanted, you should respect what he says.
Question: if he tells you your advice is unwanted and you keep trying to give it to him, does he get annoyed? Now ask yourself this - if someone were to keep giving you advice when you didn't want it, don't you think you would get a little irritated, too? Perhaps that's why you think he is being inconsiderate - because he gets angry after you won't stop "telling him what to do" the first time.
As hard as that will probably be, he still needs to be an individual and think for himself. If he gets into trouble, it might help him more than if you keep telling him what to do. Just bite your tongue the next time because he will probably end up doing whatever it is that he wants to do anyway. Am I right?
Now if he's doing something more serious - like drugs, etc that is a time when you should not back off. You have to help him realize that what he is doing is dangerous and he needs to stop. Tell him how you feel. Don't hold anything back. But remember don't get too emotional because it might make him want to stop talking about it.
So try to back off a bit and give him more space - you don't want to smother him, but if it's something serious then you need to have a real discussion about what's going on and try to help him resolve any issues he may be facing.
Take care.
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